The Future is Mine!!!

"Except, which future exactly? The one with you as X or Z? Oh. . . as both? . . . Ok, how's THAT going to work? And what about Y? Didn't you still want to do that?"

Haha ok, needless to say I still am in the midst of deciding what I want to do for a career. However, I thought I would explore a few options today, because there are some things that I have been thinking of doing. . .

While I am still playing around with the idea of horses, there are a few things that I could see myself doing in regards to them. These aren't exactly conventional (some are actually more volunteer-sy), but they still sound awesome to me:

1. Spending time in Ibiza, Spain doing Parelli with horses while helping children. There's a lady named Karen Sailer who's already in Spain doing exactly that, and I think it would be awesome to combine my interests in Spanish, travel, horses and helping kids all at once! This probably wouldn't be a career, but it'd still be awesome to do!
2. I cannot for the life of me find the article, but I am almost positive there was an article in the Savvy Times a long time ago about a Parelli Professional who got to travel and spend a few weeks in another country to help out the locals with their horses. Similar to the above, just it would be in a less-developed area
3. Being an equine-assisted therapist. These are people who work in the self-help field yet get to use horses to help their clients change behaviors. Specifically, I'd love to use EAP and I'd love to learn from Linda Kohanov at her facility in Tucson, Arizona.
4. I know it's bizarre, since I don't have a horse, but I would still really really LOVE to stay at the Parelli Center for a while. I just imagine what it's like to be there. It seems so peaceful and accepting, and I really don't care what I have to do, because I'm going to be there someday. The Parelli system has such amazing values; I really don't know what other place in the world has such a strong focus on self-improvement and growth and that is huge to me. So even if the actual horse part of things doesn't pan out, I want to work for Parelli somehow. Maybe in the blogging department ;) I just know that I LOVE their values.

I've also found myself more interested in dog psychology, too. So I think it would also be awesome to be a dog walker/ trainer. I'm talking trainer as in Cesar Millan type of trainer, though. So I think it would be fantastic to rehabilitate a dog, and currently I'm going to rehabilitate my own little scoundrel xD (he'll be a happy dog in no time! Or else! muah-ha-ha!) This wouldn't be a career for me, though, just something I'd like to do in my leisure time. I think someday I would like to train a guide dog and see how that goes . . . I think that would be very rewarding.

Back to careers, though . . . I have also been considering teaching as a future profession. It definitely has some major perks and major drawbacks. Perks = summers off, gone the same time as kids, awesome hours, talking all day. Downsides = lesson plans, possibly dealing with kids too much, grading homework, falling pay. The summers off benefit is huge, because that gives me 3 whole months to do whatever I want. That would be WONDERFUL to travel, because I know that I want to travel. Otherwise, I could just explore one of my other interests during this time. And I believe I would be teaching younger kids, too, probably more elementary school age, so in reality, lesson plans and homework wouldn't be too strenuous. But the kids would be cooped up with a lot of energy and that might get tough.

Another job I'm considering is being a life coach. This is something that I could even do on the side if I want, but it sounds genuinely awesome! The Master's Course group that I'm a part of gives me access to 2 different life coaches and so far I'm really pleased with what they've brought to the table. And it seems fun on their ends as well! I'd love to help people change their lives, that'd be fantastic! I would want to get certified through Martha Beck to be a life coach.

Kind of on the heels of the life coaching idea is that of a career coach. I'm not quite as interested in this one in the usual boring "take this career test, see any you like?, ok look up more details" blah blah blah. I like the "so. . . what excites you? What makes you want to wake up in the morning?" kind of coaching. That's awesome to me. Figuring out what your soul wants to do. And I guess, really, that is part of life coaching too. Cool :)

Another thing I want to do for a little while (or at least try) is being an editor. I'm really a words person and I think it would be awesome to read books and work with authors to help publish their work. I actually found a small publisher in Minneapolis that is looking for interns so maybe that would be something else I could try this summer somewhere closer to home.

Lastly (I hope haha) I want to be an author. It would be so amazing to publish a book. . . Just to have the feeling and proof of my contribution to the world, right in my hand. That would be phenomenal. I know it will be a lot of work, but someday I am going to publish one. I am so interested in people's life stories, I might as well write mine ;) (or not, we'll let future me decide that one)

Ok I lied. Not done yet. I forgot one of the biggest things I want to do . . . TRAVEL!! I know that for a job I'm not keen on traveling. When I say that, I mean that I don't want to travel on business trips or something. That sounds dull to me. I don't want to be in a foreign land and be stuck in meetings all day. I want to see and do things! So, as a part of my college experience, I am definitely studying abroad, I just have to decide where. And also after college, I am planning on taking a gap year and seeing the world then as well. And if I still haven't had enough, I could always join the Navy and see things that way :) I would join the Cryptology department and use my language skills, so hopefully I would come home with a better understanding of Spanish or an entirely new language under my belt.

And the only other thing I forgot is graphic design. I don't want to do it for a living, but I think it would be pretty cool to do. I would love to be able to design my own website, too. That kind of thing. It'd just be a really useful skill to have.

So, after reading all that, can you tell I've looked things up? Haha yeah, it's a lot, I know. But I think that's everything I'm seriously considering. There are a few other jobs hanging around (paralegal, librarian, psychologist), but I'm not as interested in those. I'd be ok with doing them, but I don't know. They just don't sound as exciting. Librarian sounds cool, but it'd depend on the place. I'd love to be in a library all day some days, but other days I'd just want to dance and sing down the aisles and I'm pretty sure the kids might look at me funny :D Plus, I guess I just don't want to stoop to that. I feel like people would say that being a librarian would fit me, and I agree, it would, but I don't want a job that fits me: I want to grow into it. I want to be challenged by my job :) so that means I have to pick something that's a little farther outside of my comfort zone.

Hopefully by the end of the summer I'll have a more concrete idea :)

Love,
Erica

Feel the Fear . . . And Do It Anyway

In the land of Parelli, this sort of phrase is not one that you will commonly find. Many horse lovers experience fear at some point in their lives, and a lot of people feel liberated that Parelli instead uses the principle of "approach and retreat" (or better: "retreat then re-approach) instead of just forcing people through their thresholds. However, I am finding that in my own life, the title may sometimes be the more appropriate thing to do.

As an example, in my life one of my goals is to develop a wider circle of friends. However, I find that many times when I am presented with an opportunity to make more friends, I tend to balk. I know what my goal is, but in the moment, my brain cannot process anything besides "ALERT: DISCOMFORT!" and I bow out. While it may make the discomfort go away, it doesn't help me reach my goal. So, maybe sometimes it would be more beneficial for me to just do it.

Another little thought: have you ever had someone who could see right through you? As in, they jumped right in and instantly blew apart your comfort zone? From time to time, I get people like that in my life. A few of my co-workers, actually, were pretty good at it (unknowingly). Usually I end up disliking people who make me feel so uncomfortable, but there was one guy at work named Jay who was pretty cool. He was extremely sociable and confident in himself and basically just thrust me into the world as if everything was easy breezy. I remember one day he ran outside of the dining room quick, because he thought he heard a gun shot, but upon realizing there was none, he turned to me and yelled "holy crap! Feel my chest! My heart's beating like crazy!" And I instantly withdrew, because I'm not comfortable doing that.

There was another guy I went to high school with, who for a time wanted to be friends with me. We were in a group together for a project and he got my number, asked me to hang out a few times (which I refused) and then quickly proclaimed that I was boring. I was pissed.
"I am NOT BORING!" I'd yell at him whenever he would tell me I was.
"Yeah?" He'd smirk. "Then what do you ever do for fun?" At my immediate glance away, he'd presume his victory and puff his chest out like a tom cat. But after a few days, he got bored with 'boring old me' and went back to talking to his friends during class. I don't think he even realizes that I still remember the encounter, because it did have an effect on me. He is SO opposite of me! Similar to my co-worker, he is loud, extremely obnoxious and social, yet intent on living it up. Literally, for me to even be near him is outside of my comfort zone. I don't know if he ever realized that.

Upon reflection, both of these individuals were good teachers for the times that they were in my life. They immediately honed in on areas where I'm uncomfortable and did a good job of making me feel that way. So while being uncomfortable feels horrible and awful, I realize now that being uncomfortable means that I'm growing. It's usually not something to be avoided like the plague. It's a good thing :)

So where are you letting fear stop you in your life? How can you be uncomfortable today?

Love,
Erica

Hello Blog!

Long time no see!!

I guess I should apologize, seeing as I have not posted anything in literally 2 years. Though I doubt it is of utmost importance, so I shall refrain :)

So . . . . 2 years!! A lifetime in some ways.

I have changed a ton! It astounds me to look at my old posts and to see even how incredibly self-critical I have been of myself. No wonder I never had any fun :)

A little update: I am currently at college and am almost done. I actually just had my very last class as a freshman, so I am in the midst of many changes whilst preparing for finals.

Thus, for what reason am I writing a blog right now?

Frankly, because these past few weeks have been the most transformative of my life. If you notice above, I posted that quote by Anais Lin, because it fits me perfectly at the moment. If you have ever read the book Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser (and if not, I highly recommend it), I have and still am going through my own personal Broken Open period right now.

College is an amazing tool, and I have become very reflective as a result. I have relatioships with wonderful friends and professors who really challenge me and the way that I live my life. It is fascinating. Being an intellectual and always looking for self-improvement, my soul rejoices in these conversations. All of my classes this semester have been eye-opening in some way or another, and I really feel changed as a person.

I know that I am not perfect, and I also know that I will never be, but it has really taken me almost all of these 2 years without a horse to kind of find myself. I am still slightly lost, but much less so than I have been. I've realized recently, with amounting pressure to decide on a major, that life really is what I make it. I can be whoever I choose, I just have to decide. And well, even that is kind of a lie. I don't HAVE to decide, technically. There are many options. Ok, better phrasing. I have the choice to pick my major and then the choice to be satisfied with it. Because sooner or later, everyone in college has to pick something. And there is no such thing as a perfect major. Also, I recognize that whatever I pick will be perfect, simply because I have chosen it. So there is much less pressure to find the perfect major.

I have a very strong inner critic who loves to berate me on my choices, because I have come to realize that I am quite a perfectionist in the way that I plan my life. I generally want to have the 'perfect schedule' with the 'perfect major' and graduate in no more than 4 years and get a wonderful job. But life is messy! And while those are wonderful goals to have, they are not always feasible. Do I want to have some sort of direction? Ideally, yes. But there are people who graduate from college with no idea what they want to do, and that is okay too. Do I want to avoid that? Yes. But if it is what happen, then it must happen.

That being said, I do have some interests in mind. Currently, I am a Spanish major and I intend to keep that. So, as of right now I think I shall be a Psychology and Spanish double major with a minor in Communication Studies. However, I am also going to be doing a lot of exploring over the summer to see if that is what I really want.

Because if I want to change it, that's fine. But it gets to a point where I just have to accept that it is what it is. In picking my classes for this semester, I changed my schedule 8 times. 8 times!! That is an insane amount of switching and it caused me a ton of anxiety! Thus, I don't want to do that again. If I need to take time off to figure things out, then I will. But I respect myself now, and my worth as a person.

The biggest thing that I have come away with this semester is self-love. Love yourself for who you are. That is #1. Absolutely #1. Because hating myself is pointless. I cannot be happy with my life if I hate the person who is living it. That is counter-productive and does not make sense. So I have worked really hard to examine my life and work to change my mind. If only you could see my desk right now :) It is littered with post-its all over, entirely devoted to positive self talk. I have found a lot of support from friends and many on line articles as well as a few books that have really changed me. It also helps that I love quotes, and Parelli actually came to me, too, in my journey to heal.

Quotes I can't help but share:

• "It's not about the _________, it's about the relationship" (one of the basic, if not THE basic point of Parelli, all Parelliers have heard it, but have you ever stopped and applied it to yourself? That was a huge revelation for me.)
• "You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it."
• "Happiness is a choice." (I've heard this one many times as well, but it has really sunk in recently.)
• "Feel of, feel for, feel together." (another Parelli-ism, but have you ever applied it to relationships with people?)
• "Forgiveness is a reflection of loving yourself enough to move on." (if you have trouble letting go of things that you blame yourself for, like I do, really think on this one. It'll change you.)
• "Being happy doesn't necessarily mean smiling and skipping around 24 hours a day. It means finding a way to be passionate about what I'm doing or not doing it." -Linda Parelli (this is something I have also thought a lot about in the context of choices and 'get to' vs 'got to.' A lot of time, I will think things like "ugggghhhh I have to go to class,' but I have to examine that thought. Is that true? No one is making me go. The professor doesn't care. So I have to take back that thought. The truth is I chose to be here. I chose to take this class. And I am privileged to have this education. It's a much more positive energy, because it shifts me out of being a victim into being an empowered person, which is much more satisfying.)
• "If not now, when?" (ever thought about this? Now is all you've got . . . .)
• "Life is unfolding exactly as it should."
• "Sanity begins the moment you admit you're powerless over other people."
• "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment." (then, there are no shoulding or regrets: my psych professor actually quoted someone the other day who said that we have to stop "must-erbating and shoulding all over ourselves." Very clever, but true. If something happened, it must have needed to occur. Or in other words, "what's done is done." So accept it and move on.)

So, with all of this, I have done a lot of soul-searching the past month :) as you might imagine. And I am happy to announce that I actually do see myself as a pretty damn cool person ;) I found this meme on Facebook that I just loved: "I have a problem with low self-esteem, which is really ridiculous when you consider how awesome I am." Haha! That totally fits.

Another huge thing I've learned this year is not to judge. And even that it goes both ways. I've always empathized with victims of situations, but I have to not judge the person causing the bad situation, too. I have no idea what they're going through or why they acted that way, but it is not my place to judge. I have to do my best to be there for either individual, and treat them as I would want to be treated. That is imperative. Accept people for who they are.

I have really seen how important it is to love and accept people for who they are without judgment. It is amazingly important, because we are all important and have gifts to bring to the table. I believe if we didn't have a reason for being here, we wouldn't be. So then, everyone has something important to contribute, and everyone has lessons to teach me if I will be humble enough to listen. I'm not perfect, by any means, but I will try my best to be there for people and love them as they are. That's a promise :)

Lastly, I just want to touch on Parelli. I looked back and re-read my post entitled Clarity and I really do think I was on to something there, it has just taken me this long for it to really sink in. See, I rarely ever cry, but as a result of this transformation that I'm going through, I've been much more emotional than I normally am. It's kind of exciting actually :) So as a result, I got to thinking last weekend about Moose. I have never cried over not having him, or even mourned his loss or anything. Once I sold him, I thanked God that he was off my hands and I moved on with my life. But I completely ignored the fact that he was, quite literally, my best friend for 2 years of my life. I had sold my best friend. And so the tears finally came :) I do not feel ashamed of selling him, because I know that it had to be done. I was much too busy and had things to figure out about me, and I did not have the capacity to have a horse at the time. So I accept that it had to happen. And I also accept that he is no longer mine. He was an amazing mirror and will always have a special place in my heart :)

Anyways, after my cry about Moose, it did get me thinking. And I am being very gentle with myself on the topic, but I am wondering about Parelli. Horses are a big commitment, and I know that I love them. But then, I also have to admit that I am scared of them. I have been ashamed to admit it, but I had fear issues with Moose even.

Haha, I apologize. My thinking is quite sporadic (typical RBE for ya haha). My point originally in bringing up the post Clarity in the last paragraph was to talk about freedom. I mention this horse I rode in 4th grade named Johnny where I was cantering and I felt free. I want that feeling back. And I accept that I could find it in other manners, possibly, but I am playing with how much heart and desire I have towards horses. Thus, I have to be honest with myself and acknowledge that horses are a big commitment, but I'm leaving the door open to whatever I decide.

They have been in and out of my life for years. I get into horses, I get out. But I know that I love them. They are beautiful creatures. I love people and I love animals. But I just am waiting until I know what feels right to me. If I get back into horses, I am going to do so because I want to, because it's fun, and because I love my horse and want to do right by him. I want to do things right. And I am going to respect myself too. I actually made a list of the ideas that scare me:

• Electric fences (my horse touching them while riding/ on line)
• Other horses near my horse (what if my horse reacts poorly? so alpha horses = scary in particular)
• My horse leading too far behind me (what if I get run over)
• Getting my foot caught in the stirrup and getting drug
• Saddling up my horse poorly and he is uncomfortable
• My horse stepping on his lead rope and freaking out (like Moose did)
• Sitting on the ground near my horse (what if I'm stepped on/ can’t get out of the way)
• Being out of control in general (More specifically, I feel out of control when 1 rein riding/ no rein riding: ok, I feel out of control when riding in general, which could be solved through a focus on getting my balance better)
• Being outside of our pasture with my horse

It's pretty extensive. And none of these ideas make me panic or sweat or anything, I just feel uncomfortable. But it is still fear. It would still cause me to be an ineffective leader for my horse. It is a mix of safety and trust issues, and I recognize as well that horses will always be horses and if I want to get back into the Parelli world, I do have to accept this fact. There will never be zero risk in being around horses. They are prey animals and accidents do happen. However, I also have a lot of control over my confidence and the situations that I expose myself to. If I want this, I could overcome it.

And to be honest with you, I feel like I do want it. I really do want that connection with a horse. That look and loving acceptance that tells you you're doing something right. That permission to be myself and not be judged. And the opportunity to grow even more as a person. I'm just so afraid of believing in myself, because I'm afraid of failing. What if I can't ever get over these fears? What if I am doomed to be the person stuck on the sidelines forever, loving horses from a distance? Or what if I get into horses again and decide that I want out immediately?

Tons of what-ifs. "Breathe, Erica. You know in your heart what you want." And I do. But fear is scary. It involves opening up and believing and exposing myself to risk. It's stepping outside of my comfort zone. And my logical brain would like to chip in here and add that "failure is good, that's how you learn." If I get back into horses, even a little bit and I can't get over these fears, so be it. I will have gained immense knowledge of myself and who I am. So it won't be for nothing. I will just feel like I have failed, but I can overcome that. Failure is learning, it's nothing to be afraid of.

On the other hand, what if I succeed? What if I get over all of these fears? What if I actually can accomplish my dream? What if I can get to canter, safely and with trust? What if I can develop an independent seat and be respected as a rider? What if I can be so much fun for my horse that he can't wait to be with me? And what if I can have so much fun with my horse that I'm no longer afraid? What if I could do that?

Hmmmm . . . . Lots to think about, for sure. I'll update again when I next feel like sharing :)

Until then, have a good one!!

--Erica

Questions and Answers

Today went well. We got a huge storm the other day, so our ground is sadly covered with snow again. I've been struggling with interpreting some horsemanship advice I got from a friend regarding picking up Moose's feet, so I haven't played with that since early last week.

Here is a snippet of the e-mail I received:

When I look at your situation, there are a few Parelli-isms that come to mind that I think would be useful for you to ponder.

#1) "If your horse says 'no', you either asked the wrong question, or you asked the question wrong."

#2) "Do your thinking at night, and your feeling during the day."

#3) "It's not about the_______"

#4) Pat's definition of Respect: The Appropriate response to the appropriate application of pressure.

#5) Isolate, Separate, and Recombine

What I'd be looking to is what am I doing to cause this? What is it in ME that is causing my horse to react the way he is? Remember that the horse is perfect, it's up to us to help him understand what we want.

That being said, I think you're right on, in that it's a respect thing. But looking through that filter, what is it that you're doing to cause the disrespectful response?

Another filter to look through is that of the 8 Principles.  Have you ever actually sat down and read them and taken into account what they mean? Massively deep stuff. And usually, if there's something amiss in the partnership, it's rooted in one of the 8 Principles. That's why this program is so genius. It's categorically put into a system (Pat's an LBI, can ya tell? Ha!) that you can use to filter your results (or lack thereof).

Yet another way to look at it is through the 7 games. Which game is broken? How can I help that game become better while remaining in a leadership position and putting the relationship first?
So I've had this congregating in the back of my mind for about a week now, with not a lot of luck.

I wasn't really sure what I was going to do with Moose today.We ended up playing a lot of touch it. It went really well. I revved up my leadership skills a little bit, and got some nice ears forward from Moose and a very lovely responsive horse as well. But then it got wierd, because as things were really nice, ALL OF A SUDDEN FOR NO REASON AT ALL he decided to canter around like a mad man. Now I had had a thought in my head to have him circle at a trot, and see if he would canter right before he started doing this. So, I am not sure if he s reading my mind or this was a form of freak out. Because my options are either A) RB panic attack or B) LB temper tantrum. He didn't look RB, so that's not it. So, either he was reading my mind, or it was a temper tantrum. But, it's funny, because I broke down for a minute there. "My poor horse, what have I done to you? Now you probably hate me!" So I started to get all sad and was thinking I would probably have to stop playing with him, because I was becoming helpless. But, Parelli came to my rescue. I remembered a quote I had been reminded to think about in the e-mail above: "Do you feeling during the day, your thinking at night." Oops. I was thinking. (Haha bad Erica bad). I then just chalked his behavior up to "how interesting!" and moved on.

Anyways, it was the reminder I needed. I perked right back up and realized I was making a big fuss out of nothing. I backed him up, and he was the lightest he's EVER been with his ears forward. I have got to be doing something right. So we did sideways along the fence and I had a realization. One of the things that might help our freestyle is getting our sideways better. If he can maintain the bend in his body where I ask, it's much more likely I'll be able to direct him where I want him to go. So I figure I should start being more particular about that and see where that takes us.

And then the farrier came and did Moose's feet. I found out it wouldn't be a good idea to get Moose shod, instead it'd be best just to buy him boots. And I asked her about a crack in his foot that had made him lame before (it was a cut growing out) and she said not to worry about it. So I'm happy to hear that. Also, I asked her about a lump he has on his throat that's concerned me for some time, and she said not to worry about it as well. Probably just ask the vet. And I looked up some information about it and it doesn't seem very serious. Which is definitely good news.

My Grand Adventure

And I thought I should let you know Bella is no longer here. We sold her to a fellow Parelli student in the area and she is doing much better already. After having owned her for about 2 years and not riding much at all, her new owner rode her the 5th day she got her. We're very excited for them.

And I had an incredible horse-filled day today. Started out at 9 this morning playing with Queen. She's a LBE beautiful QH, about 15.2ish hands, 9 years old. I actually found her when I was looking for a place to possibly board Moose for the winter, and they told me she was for sale and I just loved her from looking at her. She's incredibly gorgeous. And Parelli-trained too. :) She was soooooo light it was amazing. You used your legs and the reins to turn her, but the legs were like inside your skin. Like I thought, "let's turn right," and did the motions inside my skin for turning as I wanted and she would follow right along. It was absolutely phenomenal. She blew my mind. The only thing Queen was working on was cantering. I surprised myself, I actually felt confident enough to canter on her, even though they said it needed work. Wasn't terrible though. I now feel an itch to canter on Moose! I haven't had the confidence to canter in a long time.

So I will admit I am now trying to figure out if there is any possible way I could fit another horse into my life. I am planning on going back to Farrah's for the summer but hauling 2 horses would be doubly expensive and leaving Queen here by herself for the summer with no handling would be unfair to both my parents taking care of her and Queen. And I have no money with which to pay them. If they were willing to just give her away, then Moose could stay here and have a buddy but then if she had any vet bills I wouldn't have the money to pay for them because I'd have to buy hay. So as you can see it's all a huge mess but I'm thinking on it. There is another person going to see her tomorrow, so if she sells she sells I guess. I'd be kind of bummed, but I know at this point it's not feasible to take on another horse. Just doesn't help me from wishing I could. :) More to come on her though if I think of something. Because I am thinking. . . believe me.

Also thought I should update everyone, I actually have a job now playing with horses!!!!! I'm very thrilled, getting paid for what you want to make a career out of is certainly fulfilling. So I went over there today and played with 3 of their horses: if you remember Star, from long ago, I actually got to play with her today.

Things went much better than last time, I was able to rub her all over with the carrot stick and throw it over her back a little. She got VERY worried about her friens though. Right when I took her out of the pasture I had to do some major RB pattern interrupts, and then she calmed down. I spent a lot of time on Friendly, and also tried some Porcupine and a little bit of Driving. Star was starting to get really LB and actually more pushy than scared, but then I think the horses in the pasture got too far away or something and she went off the walls again. So it was kind of a bummer. I had her at a good spot, but we lost it. It's ok though. I was actually having a lot of trouble teaching her because all she wants to do is crowd you. And I was trying to get her confidence up with the carrot stick, but while maintaining some semblance of safety and teaching her. And having her so RB was not really helping. But I definitely learned more for next time. Since it rained this morning we couldn't really use the arena so that was a hindrance but also we're going to be playing on a 22 promptly next time. This pony needs the room. She can go have her RB freak-outs over there.

Also, got to play with Lily. She was more of an introvert, but she seemed as inexperienced as Star. The only difference was Lily wanted to do nothing but eat. I was trying to teach her Porcupine and do some Friendly, and it was pretty humorous, she'd bring her head up in time to be worried or move and then dive back down again. So we're going to install a head down cue pretty quick. ;)

Lastly, I played with Dazzle today too. Dazzle was the horse you ride when you're ponying one of the more greener horses, so she kind of knew the deal. Well I was told she was pretty good at Liberty stuff, so I turned her loose in the round pen. I guess they had a different concept of Liberty than I did because she didn't really know any of the games. She knew Stick To Me walk and trot, but that's about it. And that was after playing the Catching Game once or twice.

But the really really neat thing about Dazzle is the way she rides. Oh was it magnificent! It was so incredibly similar to Queen I could've cried! (jk jk) But I felt so spoiled, 2 rides on incredibly amazing horses in one day. . . how lucky am I? Before today, I have never ridden any horses as well-trained in riding as these two were. Queen was actually the favorite because Dazzle didn't stop as lightly and it took a bit to get her to go whereas Queen was very light in everything. But it was just excellent, I felt very safe on her and she didn't worry me one bit.

And then once I got home, I headed to a stable down the road to watch my friend ride her horse for a Pony Club event. I was too late though, I arrived just in time for the last ride, but I got to see her mom ride. It went pretty well, they were going eventing and I've never watched that in person before. The horses were all very very pretty and seemed content with life.

Then I actually returned home and played with Moose. He did so excellent I can't even say. It was quite a nice break to play with an advanced horse, one that is familiar with me. The youngsters can be quite challenging on how to get a communication system set up, so I was doubly thankful for Moose. But it was getting kind of late so rather than ride like I had intended I just played with cantering. We've been practicing cantering on the Circling Game for a little while now as I want to start developing some cantering things on the ground, like Stick to Me and eventually Z5 driving. Well, Moose was very connected to me tonight. He did all his gaits with slack in the rope, his trot seemed really nice and even and not racy. It looked balanced! So I asked him to canter out of it and he did do some playful head shaking and kicking a once or twice but he knew what I was asking for so this time instead of changing direction to help him I wanted to see if he could figure it out. And he did! I got about HALF A LAP of cantering each direction. I was so thrilled!!! Before I had only been asking for 3-5 strides and then I immediately brought him in. He excelled that in leaps and bounds tonight. It was fantastic.

Overall, super cool day today. Seriously horse-filled. And I also realized how much more savvy I have  riding now than I had before I went to Farrah's. The change is astounding. My confidence level has increased quite a lot. When I first arrived at Farrah's, I was afraid to trot on Moose bareback. By the end of my time, it was no problem. I still didn't think (and don't currently) that I'm that good of a rider, but I had enough confidence to ask for the trot. Apparently, that has also translated to other horses which makes me very excited. I'm getting more savvy! Yahoo!

I know, I'm Horrible. But I'm still here . . . . Honest!

Been here 3 weeks and still no updates. Very sorry guys. I do check the blog every day, I seriously do, I just don't feel this inkling to write so haven't for a while. I've things written down in my journal, so there are many things to share though, so don't worry you'll still get some information.

So, ok, as far as things I've learned. Moose is a lot more extroverted than I thought. He is very clear, when I say "hey Moose, can we do this?" He goes "no." And he'll tell you VERY clearly, "no." That's more of an extroverted reaction. As a specific example, I'll ask him to turn to the left and he'll go right. It's an obedience issue, and according to Linda's horsenality information, that means he's actually being LBE. Wow, huh? I had him pegged as an introvert.

And so along with him being more extroverted, we had (kind of have) major steering issues. So it is being dominant, he goes no, my idea is better than yours. And so the appropriate strategy with this is "great idea, let's go!" and do more than he wants to do. Well, I realize I've been saying no to him a lot, but our riding has been greatly improving. We've been given the task (since I got here now, think, been here 3 weeks) of riding a circle around an object and this time I got on, we rode 1 circle at the walk without any steerin mishaps or goofing off or anything so I jumped off right away and ended it. That was fantastic. This was yesterday too, so we'll see how today goes.

And hmmm, what else? Well, as I announced before we passed our level 2, so are now officially playing in Level 3 On Line. Also, our freestyle is in Level 2. I'm very impressed because I've dreamed for a long time of the day I'm in Level 3, and now that it's here it's interesting to compare, because I don't feel like I know more. Moose still does things, and I still get frustrated, and I still look at him going "wow, I don't know what to do about that!" so nothing has really really changed in that point. It's just what we can do. We can do all these wonderful things that we couldn't do before, and our relationship has grown. That's the biggest thing. I'm still me and he's still him. We're working towards harmony, we've just moved up a rung on the ladder. Doesn't mean I'm suddenly a horse expert like I thought it would.

Also, gosh, what else to mention? I got to go to the Sioux Empire Fair. Watched my first beauty pageant, and I saw Miss South Dakota. Have eaten out the most in my life: 8x in 2 weeks. Have a lovely farmer's tan going on right now. Used clippers for my first time on a dog. Watched the maintenance guy rope chairs out of a pool ;) (soooo hilarious). Learning to trim feet. Saw what a South Dakota storm can do. Had horses stay here on their way to the Canadian Nationals. Went to a lake house in Minnesota. Ate a $9 burger. Saw the barn's Down's Syndrome daughter win Walk/Trot in honor of her horse that died last year a week before the Sioux Empire Fair. Went swimming a lot. Played with horses a lot. Done stalls a lot. Slept. Met new people. Oh, got my palm read. Had a bull whip cracking party until 11 at night ;). Cleaned the barn. Chased madly after a loose dachshund. Chased after 2 loose horses. Walked a lot of dogs. Attempted to make friends with the barn's dog Lucy who has been abused before she came here and is now not a fan of people.

So lots of new experiences. I've also learned I slouch when riding. I learned the power of passive persistance. I learned more about where the weight is on your horse, and why the change of direction is so powerful. Along with that, I learned the reason dressage has so many lateral maneuvers in it. I learned that every horse is an individual and needs to be treated as such. I learned that Moose is very weak, which is the reason he pulls on the rope when he canters on line. I learned how to fix that. I learned how to make progress basically.

I think that's mainly what it's come down to, is I've learned how to make progress again. I found out from being here that Moose and I are so much further than I thought we were, because we've been pushed to go further. Before I could just play in my comfort zone and do the same thing over and over again and no wonder we never went anywhere! I thought we were. I'd come inside going "guess how many laps we got today!" And it seemed like progress, but then I'd move onto something else and stop counting laps so we'd be right back where we started when I tried counting laps again. So, while here, we've tried new things. We've done the flank rope, we've done Zone 5 driving. Basically, we've really expanded into things I would never have thought of doing. It's kind of been like a 3 week clinic with Farrah, it's really been excellent. I think her forward thinking mind is very interesting.

Got a quick story. We were all outside playing with our horses, and one of the interns picked out a little mini to play with. One of the things Farrah told her was to see if she could sit on him, lay on him, just kind of be over him and things like that. So, I'm here playing with my horse and I hear a thud. Look over, and she's laying on the ground. She got bucked off! Since it was a mini, she was totally fine, but so she thought she couldn't go any further because she couldn't get on. Farrah goes, "well, see if you can put a barrel on him then". It's just contagious, I don't know how to explain it but I love it. She sees forward openings in everything. I told her about Bella and how she's pretty green and complicated and I want to help her riding but I'm not confident enough and she goes "Well, you can sit on her, can't you?" I go "yeah..." "Then go do that." Well, duh! If that's not obvious! I just love the way she thinks like that, because my brain goes "well, plan A failed, I'm stuck" and it doesn't have to be like that. There's always something else that you can do, something you can try, some way forward. Was watching the Savvy Club Circling DVD and in the Finesse portion Lauren Barwick is riding May Lee and talking about her ride on a voice over, and she mentions that her horse felt kind of stiff that day, but she wanted to do a pirouette. Well, she tried it but she didn't work, so instead of getting frustrated or mad or anything she said, "well, I KNOW we can do a walk pirouette" so she did that instead and then they both got what they wanted. It's a compromise.

Farrah had to teach me a concept to help me with Moose. She told me a story. "Ok, so let's say you and me are best friends. Really best friends. And say I want to go watch a movie, and you want to go play volleyball. Well, it's the first day, so you give in and say ok, we can go watch a movie. Then the next day, the same situation arises. You want to play volleyball, but I want to go watch a movie. Well, now we compromise and watch a movie about volleyball. Then, the next day maybe we go play volleyball for 5 minutes, and then go watch a movie. That's kind of the idea. You get to where you're so excited for those 5 minutes of volleyball and so pumped up so that I (AKA your horse) eventually start to like playing volleyball. Even if volleyball happens to be doing circles, or something really boring." And that's what I have to do with Moose is compromise. Because, see, he thinks his ideas are great. He wants to watch a movie, he loves movies, it's his most favorite thing in the world, and why would he think about playing volleyball? That's where we have to compromise, and I have to learn to cause my idea to become his idea.

Another week, possibly 2 actually, and I'll be headed home. It's been such a blast so far. Sometime I hope to bring my journal down here and type up some of the relevant notes i have written in there. Dunno if I'll actually get to it or not though.

Thanks Farrah!

Elaborating on Feel

Since it seems this is just on my mind lately, we had another session where I went really slow and things worked out really well. It just knocked my mind out of the water with the power of a plan. I felt like if I showed Moose what I had in mind, and made an effort to help him do it, and really concentrated on what I wanted him to do, he got the idea. He understood my intent. For example, Moose gets a little funny when people stand above him (I think because since he's so tall he's never had anyone really taller than him before), so I decided to stand up on our picnic table, and have him walk along one side of the picnic table, then turn around around a cone, and walk down the same side, and turn around around another cone. It was a very awkward pattern, and I knew it, so it was a test. And Moose passed with flying colors. I felt like he knew what I was asking from the moment I started, just because I was so focused on the pattern.

Also, I read something posted on Mugwump Chronicles a long time ago just recently about horse's walking on a track, and about it being a color and such (I'd link to the old blog post itself, but I don't know what it's called, sorry). Well, I'm not quite sure about it being colored, but I did find out something interesting about it today. I asked Moose to circle around me, and he's gotten in the pattern of doing a few laps, and then stopping. We're just not far enough into the levels to change his mind about this yet, lol. But it's not a big deal. So I sent him out, made sure he knew it was a circle, and then closed my eyes. He stopped right away, so I re-sent him. This time, he walked 3 laps around me calmly without a fuss, and I have to say I think they were the most perfect circles we've ever gotten. "How interesting!" Then, as I opened my eyes to disengage him, he stopped. I was overjoyed! I guess there really is something to this stuff.

Overall, by myself making a conscious effort to slow down and make sure he understands, I feel like Moose is really hooking on better now. I feel like I should go back and read Tom Dorrance's book again now. I think maybe I'd get more out of it this time around.

The Power of Feel

I just had an incredible session with Moose. Like I said in the last post, I haven't been able to see him very often lately, so this was quite a pleasant surprise.

I decided to try to emphasize feel today, because I really want to have a light horse if I'm going to be doing liberty and higher level 3/4 things eventually. It turned out incredible. I rarely had to go to phase 3/4, but if I did, I was very clear about it, and then didn't need to again. Moose was really responding well to the lead rope. I tryed to be as subtle, but clear as possible, so his brain got involved. He had a great expression when we were done and was really LBI. I was really happy with our progress.

And it came to me today, hey, if you can ride your horse with just a string around his neck, why can't I play with my horse with just a string for a line, too? So, I think that's going to be something to aim for in the future. I want to see if I can play with my horse with just a binder twine around his neck, or something of that sort. Now that's a test of a light horse!

Besides, Moose was a lot happier today, too. I really felt like he was himself. And it was incredible how slowly we went! I really felt present with him, because I was trying so hard to go slow as to have hands that open quickly and close slowly, so I didn't want to miss his try. And he really hooked on to that.

Overall, a very neat day. I can see now why feel is so fascinating. Very cool.

Soul to Soul or Eye to Eye

I was watching a video done by Pat Parelli in 1987 the other day. For Savvy Club Members, you can find it on line. It's called California Expo 1987 Mar 06. It's a little hard to hear what Pat's saying, as a forewarning, but it's an incredible show of just how talented Pat is, and this is even 23 years ago!

But, the bad hearing turned out to be a blessing. It really made me pay attention to what Pat was doing more than what he was saying. So, I was absolutely astounded when the end result of what looked to be a few needless things turned out to be him riding the horse around bridleless. And what happens when things go bad (no spoilers here, watch it yourself). And the video's only about a half hour long, too. I was astounded.

So, while walking my dog I really thought with how in the world Pat was able to bring that change in that horse around so quickly. It looked like he was barely doing anything except yielding the horse's HQ. And I came across an interesting scenario.

While I was walking my dog Morrie there are some cows who just got brought in at a neighbor's house. I didn't know at the time, but my dog seems to just love them. I think he thinks they're just huge dogs or something, because he gets really excited whenever he sees them. And so I follow some of Cesar Millan's dog psychology, and like what he does, so I got to act as him for a little bit to keep Morrie under control. It didn't work. Well, I had an epiphany. The reason things didn't work with Morrie was because I was relying on my eyes. I couldn't feel his energy. So, I'd only discipline him whenever he looked excited, but I couldn't actually feel his energy. I still can't.

And I realized that I think that's a part of what I'm lacking with the horses. Now, I'm sure it takes a long time to develop this, and I also believe that this a part of what Tom Dorrance calls feel. I likened it to being on a soul to soul level, instead of just eye to eye. Because with horses, and with Morrie, I look at what they're doing, but I can't really feel it like Pat or Cesar can. Not that I expect to, but it was a very interesting realization. Partially, because it really gave me a deeper respect for people who are good with horses (and Cesar, too), but also because I can really see how this would transmit to horses.

If you could just feel their energy, and what state they're in at that time, you would do the right thing. It's exactly like one of my favorite quotes from Linda Parelli: "If you can read the horse, you'd know what to do." And so I realized one of the reasons I can't read horses very well yet is because I can't feel of them yet, and if I can't do that there's no way we can feel together, and eventually get them to feel for me.

Lesson at Shirley's

I had another lesson today. It went really well. I was very pleased. I played with Ollie again again, and I really feel like he liked me too. Shirley even complimented me on how much improvement I made from our last lesson. I got firmer with him today when he needed it, despite him getting a little bit unsure, I persevered and then he came out fine and regarding me with respect. I was really happy. I really felt like a leader today, and that things worked out well.

I ended up riding him, too, at the end. I noticed when I rode him last time that he always wanted to go wherever he wanted when someone was riding him. Like I had to constantly remind him to go where I wanted. And he had an obvious draw to where his herd mates were. So, I asked Shirley when I should be reminding him to go where I want. She just reminded me that the phases, are eyes, belly button, leg, arm. I kept going to arm as phase 2ish, since he wouldn't go. She said that was most likely the result of him not being ridden very much. He is 14 years old, but doesn't have a ton of riding time on him. So, he isn't being sassy, he just doesn't understand since it's never been reinforced to him before. So, that was kind of cool, feeling like I actually got to do some kind of 'training' on Shirley's horses. :) Made me feel good anyways, that she said I was good for Ollie since I was more particular. He's a pretty cool guy.

And since Moose has been kind of a stinker about haltering recently, Shirley said that sometimes you have to make him and he doesn't just get to goof off. So, you might have to hook the halter around his neck, and just say 'deal!' for a little bit. But she also reminded me that I have a 50-50 chance. Good day, all in all!

Mom and Bella's Breakthrough

I'm pretty psyched for mom right now. We went out today to play with the horses, and I decided to try to help mom out a little bit. First, we stated out with simulations, me being the horse and her the human. The purpose was so that 1) I can give her feedback, and 2) she can develop better rope handling skills for the 22' line.

And then I told her that she should try hitting a barrel as hard as she could with her CS (carrot stick), and then rub it. I asked her how she felt afterwards, and she said it was interesting, because she could really feel her energy going up and down, and how quickly she needed to adjust it.

So, after doing that, she got her pony and I proceeded to give her a 'lesson' in leadership. Bell was circling, and pretty bored. She was looking outside the circle, waiting for every excuse to stop and play games and such. So, I asked mom to do a change of direction when Bella was walking pretty well. She backed up, and then pointed for Bella to go off the right, but Bella just stood there. I told her to tag her 3x on the neck. Bella swished her tail, and tosses her head, but then trotted (hallelulah! The LBI trots!) off half a circle to the right. Then, she stopped and stared a whole into mom. I told mom to smile, and then turn her back. Bella put her head down, and then licked her lips. I then challenged her to see if she could reel in the rope without looking at Bella. Bella came over, so then she did Friendly, to make sure we still have her confidence.

Then, I had her send her out again. This time Bella looked a little more attentive, but possibly a little unconfident. So, I had her stay more on the passive side, until Bella started messing around with the barrel, saying "look, even this barrel is more interesting than you!" so I knew she was confident again. Then, she sent Bella out, and Bella took about 3 steps before turning and facing. So, she re-sent her again. Same thing. I told Mom to back her up a little bit, because she was too close, and to send her like she was going somwhere, like there is a purpose to all this, because if Mom doesn't think there's a purpose, I doubt Bella's going to either. So, then she sent her out, and Bella went. I had them do a little more change of directions, and then -since Mom was conveniently standing by 2 barrels- I asked her to see if she can stand in the middle of the barrels and do change of directions from there to get Bella to do a figure-8.

I thought it went pretty well. Bella still had the druthers towards me and Moose -since me and him were chilling together- but not that big of a deal. Then, Bella started not coming in to Mom for the change. She's like "I know what happens before what happens happens!" So, I wasn't really sure if that was dominance ("I don't want to come in to you!") or unconfidence ("I can't come in"). I had mom turn her back, and then see if Bella would come in. It took a little prompting, but she eventually did, so I'm thinking it was more dominance-oriented, which will be something to fix for next time.

Then, Mom asked if we should end, but I don't think quite yet, since Bella didn't come to her, that wasn't really a good note to end on. I asked her to do something else with her for a little bit, and she thought of Stick To Me, since they haven't done much of that. Great idea! So, I had to adjust Mom's position a little bit, and give her some concepts with this game. I think this game is really going to help both Mom and Bella. Mom, because the parameters are really good for her, so she really KNOWs how to be a leader here: like she has a specific goal in her mind of what she's looking for, and so it helps her be able to assert herself. It'll help Bella, because then she can see that Mom is a leader, and so it will lend her to being able to do the Circling Game better. Also, I thought it might be good, because then if Bella feels like circles are boring, in Stick To Me, at least you're going somewhere, so there's a purpose right there. And. interestingly enough, we found a problem right away. Bella swishes her tail, tosses her head, and puts her ears back when you go from the walk to the trot. So, first I had to correct Mom's trot, because she started jogging at the same speed she was walking. It was like a human piaffe. So, I had to get the idea ingrained into her head "go somewhere!" Once she started doing that, she got Bella to trot, and then once I told her "Back her up fast" she had to stop and start backing up Bella phase 4. Really good for both of them. Bella licked her lips fast every time. After she did it twice, I noticed that Bella was putting her ears back whenever Mom walked, but I'm not sure if that was sassy or just paying attention, so I just left it alone.

So, yeah, overall a very successful day. I really hope that Mom learned today the benefits of leadership for Bella, because today was the first day she's ever truly Phase 4'ed Bella. Before, she always nagged her, so I'm hoping that this will REALLY open her eyes up to the fact that you can not possibly hit a horse with a CS as hard as another horse could kick, so it's okay to believe in yourself, and mean what you say sometimes, as long as you're not mean or mad. It'll be interesting to see how Bella's behavior is different next time Mom plays with her, and to see how their relationship changes because of it.

Fantabulous Day

Well, yesterday was just incredible. I have to gloat for a second. I bought the new Parelli Levels, and they are just INCREDIBLE! I love the way Pat explains things. They are REALLY REALLY good. I highly recommend you take a look at them if you've got the chance. I've just finished the Level 1 and 2 On Line DVDs so far, and am really liking the way this is set up.

SO>>> About my fantabulous day. Well, thanks to these wonderful DVDs, I have been re-naturalized, so to speak, because I remembered to reward the slightest try. I did it before, so that never stopped, but I hadn't been happy about it. Well, for the past 2 days, I've really been satisfied with whatever Moose has offered, and as a result he has been a confident learner. It is just WONDERFUL! These past 2 days were the first times EVER I was able to teach him with him staying engaged. Before he would either be dominant or unconfident. Whenever his confidence would rise up, so would his dominance, so I couldn't juggle that, and would accidentally knock the confidence out of him every time, so he turned unconfident again. No fun, I'll tell ya. But oh, I think these DVDs have been the missing key.

I went out with Moose yesterday, and he was in a pretty good mood to begin with. I probably was too, actually. So, I took Moose outside to play with him, since his pasture is all snowed in. I wanted to play with our Circling Game. Well, about halfway through our play-time, I decided I wanted to teach him to stop when the CS is in front of Zone 1, since we have no downward transitions on line, only upwards ones, I thought "what the heck? Let's give it a shot."

Specifically, his issue with downward transitions is that he thinks that when I put the carrot stick in front of him, that means stop, then turn and face. The stop part is great, but I don't want him to face me. (Oops, guess our HQ driving game is a bit TOO good). So, I kept repeating that to him: whenever he'd stop, if he moved his forehand over to me, I would move it back over so that he was somewhat perpendicular to me. The first few times, I was on the brink of losing his confidence, but this time he realized I was just communicating with him and saying "no, that's not what I want" because I released right away when he did what I asked. So, I re-explained to him what I wanted and made it easy for him. Then, I tried it at a little longer distance, like a 6' circle, then we worked it up to 12'.

Okay, now for the incredible part. I sent Moose out on a circle to the right, and stood in neutral like normal. Moose was at about 1 o'clock on the circle. I thought to myself "when he gets to 10 o'clock, I'm going to ask him to stop." My hand had just grasped the handle of the carrot stick. Moose is now at 12 o'clock. He stopped, PERFECTLY!!!! I was so excited, guess he read my mind :). So, I immediately brought him in and gave him a treat and was just excited about having fun. I can't wait until I have the savvy to cause every day to feel like this one. But the absolutely incredible thing about this is that there was NOOO way Moose this happened by chance. Moose read my body language and responded, and that just makes me so happy. I love my pony!

Thoughts about Thinking

I've concluded that I think too much . . . at least recently, anyways. I've been thinking, and I think that thinking is my best friend and worst enemy. It's one of those love-hate things. It helps me in some situations, since it helps me be observant and logical, but it also sometimes makes my progress go out the window, because I over-analyze.

Like you know that little program I did with Moose a while back because he kept putting his head up when I haltered him? It didn't do anything. He still does it. It's just that now I've accepted that I'm not going to fix that right now. It was a complete moment of "can't see the forest for the trees." I'm glad it did it, since I usually don't stick to programs because every day I want to try out something new, and this one actually lasted for a few days, but I still see now that it was pointless.

So, my inability to stick to programs and my tendency to over-analyze has caused me to think some more. (God help me, more thinking!) I need to make a program and just stick to it, so I don't bore my horse, or get stuck on one little task. So, my solution to this is to come up with a program for each session, so I have a focus on what I want to do. Normally, I wouldn't decide to do this, because I get direct-line, but I had a thought a minute ago. If you have 15 minute to play with your horse, that doesn't mean that you have "get 'er done" in that time. It just means you have 15 minutes. Good to know. I'll update again when I decide how exactly I want to proceed with this. . . we're able to do Liberty somewhat consistently now (YIPPEE!!!!!!!), so I might try for my Level 2 Audition and then start making programs, but we'll see. It's a balancing act: Relationship vs. Progress. Take too long in the relationship department, and you'll wind up not making any progress and dealing with a bored horse. Go too far down Progress lane, and your relationship goes out the window.

A tad off topic, but I don't know if any of you have read the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell (it's on Parelli's recommended reading list, and is a very interesting book), but one of the things the author mentions is that in order to become an expert at anything, it takes approximately 10,000 hours. I copied the following excerpt from Catherine Nugent's "How to become an Outlier??"

This got me thinking- how many hours have I spend with my horses? No much when you consider that it takes 10,000 to master a skill, according to the book. I spend about three hours on average a week with my horse. Not nearly enough! I've spend about 470 hours since I started Parelli with my horses- give or take a bit. I've spent about 35 with Archie- not much when you look at it like that, hey? That's one weeks worth of working hours to me. One week! That's nothing! If I want to be really good with horses, then I need to get 10,000 hours. That's 3 hours a day, seven days a week for ten years; Or 8 hours a day for 3.5 years. Interesting hey? How good would I be if I spent THAT much time with my horses? How good would my horses think I am?

Very interesting. Especially since I have professional goals, I found that incredible how to become a master horsewoman, I'd need to spend 3 hours a day for 10 years. Lately, I'm getting around 3-5 hours a week, which makes my grand total hours with Moose somewhere near 370 hours. If you're curious how many hours you've played with your horse, there's 2 options for ya:

1. If you play daily, multiply your average hours playing with your horse by 365 days in a year to equal your grand total.
2. If you play a certain amount weekly - let's say 5 hours a week, then multiply that number by 52 weeks in a year to equal your hours per year. In this case, it would be 260 hours per year.

Just something to think about. And Happy Belated Halloween, everyone!

Finding Time for Time

Due to a change in my schedule, I'm not going to be updating as often as I'd like. Things just got a whole lot busier, so free time on computer will be sketchy on most days. I'm not real excited about it, but oh well. :)

Anyways, what have Moose and I been doing lately!? We've just been refreshing from vacation! That's right. Tuesday night was the last night in our longest time without playing ever: 5 days. Oh, I know. . . the horror! I wasn't very happy about it, since I thought that the 5 days off were going to make him forget everything, or something silly like that. :) But surprisingly (to me), when I played with him on Tuesday he was actually the most in tune with me that he's ever been. I wouldn't call it our best day ever, but our communication was definitely subtler than normal. For instance, sometimes when I send him out on a circle, he goes the wrong direction. So, I yo-yo him back to say 'wrong answer.' Then, I kept pointing in the direction I want him to go, and yo-yoing if he went the wrong way. After a few times of going the wrong direction, he would back up from a brisk phase 1. Normally, it's a phase 2 when he makes a mistake, because he obviously thinks that the direction he wants to go is right or he wouldn't be going there, and my suggestion of backing usually takes him by surprise. This time he was paying more attention to me. So, that was kind of cool.

Also, I played yesterday and today, and Moose has actually woken up a little bit. Yesterday, he pinned his ears back a few times when I told him that "no, he cannot come in and needs to circle." And the day before, I sent him and he took off like a lunatic and pulled me off balance. Today, he got a little revved up when I told him that I needed his HQ to yield when I ask, so he was sending with a lot of energy again. There was one other thing he did the other day, but I can't remember what it was. Anyways, I wasn't really sure what to think about all this, because I think my horse has actually found his play drive now! So, now I just have to figure out the line between play and dominance. :0

And right before our little vacation, I got my bareback pad!!! Hip hip horray! It's green and it's Parelli. I sat on it on a barrel and can already feel how the pad gives your seat almost a velcro-like feeling. Since I was so excited to go try it out right when I got it, I went out and got Moose and played some quick Friendly with it and then put it on him. Sent him out for some circles, then brought him in. Tightened up the girth a little. Then, I wanted to play Touch It on some tires we have set up as a pedestal. From there, I wanted him to jump the tires as a pre-flight check. Ready, set, go and we're off to the tires. And only 1 of us ended up getting there, and it wasn't me. Moose blew a gasket, and gallopped off bucking at the same time. He ran around the whole pasture freaking out when he finally stopped near Bella (who, by the way, when she saw Moose freaking out promptly decided the sky was falling and ran around with Moose for all of 8 strides before reaching the decision that running is too much work and stopped on a dime and ate grass like nothing happened) and let me take the bareback pad off. 2 things of note: 1) the bareback pad was in exactly the same position it was in when I did up the cinch the 2nd time. Hmm, how interesting! 2) When I took off the bareback pad the first thing Moose did was yawn about 5 times. To be expected, but I guess that just told me that I need to read my horse better. And so afterwards, I did approach and retreat with the bareback pad and he went back to being my LBI Moose. So, what did I learn from this experience? 1) Don't be direct-line. I was direct-line by going straight to the bareback pad. 2) Don't make assumptions. I assumed Moose would be LBI Moose eand not have an issue with the pad or girth. 3) There is a reason I haven't made a lot of progress with him, so I'm not just being an incompetent human. I was on to something when I pinned him as a LBI with an RBI side, and this means I'm still somewhat right by going slow with him. This proved to me that his RBI side is still in there. I had suspected so, but never proven it until this day. 4) When a RBI's eyes get even a little hard, you just found a threshold. Time for retreat.

And I'm excited now, too, because I might have finally found a saddle! A friend of mine had an old Western saddle in her tack room that was just collecting dust, and said if it fit Moose I could have it. Well, lo and behold, it's black and it's dusty, but it's a Big Horn. :0 So, I tried it on him tonight and it looks a lot better than the other saddle we bought for him. This one is going to need 1 or 2 shims to keep it off his shoulders, because the saddle is tight there, and possibly one in back to keep the weight off the back of the saddle, but it is still a lot nicer. The other saddle I had was an Abetta and it was in better condition, but it just sunk right down on his shoulders, so the saddle would have needed quite a few shims to even be level in the first place. It wouldn't have worked very well. And if this works out, then I even have enough money to buy the Theraflex pad! I love it when a plan come together.

Within Reach

I'm feeling pretty excited today! I just looked over the On-Line Self-Assessments sheet, and was blown away. Everything on the Level 2 portion is within reach! I mean, we haven't attempted quite a few things on the sheet yet, but I don't feel like it will be really hard to teach any of them. Nothing feels like "Oh my god, how am I ever going to get that done?" like it used to. It used to be a really big elephant, but now the elephant's just shrunk without me knowing it. So that just made my day. :)

To the Edge, But Not Over

A few days ago, I tried putting ropes around Bella's legs and then putting pressure on and seeing what she'd do. I was very impressed with her reactions, she was very LB and came off the pressure easily every time! A very good start to lead backwards by hind leg. What a smart girl!

And so the day after that, I played with Bella for about a half hour since it was getting dark out and I decided on impulse to do something with her quick. And so, I decided to try experimenting with a lunging whip we have for Friendly Game. I wanted to see how much she could tolerate/accept. Well, she handled it pretty well. I had to hit it pretty hard on the ground before she had a little blow-up moment and tried to bolt off. But it was just a little one, so I held onto the rope and brought her right back to me.

And then I immediately went off to try some Stick To Me. She did really well, I mean she actually trotted to keep up with me, so that in itself was worth a treat. :)

Overall, I was very proud that I didn't push her over a cliff. Go Savvy!

Round Pen

I finally got a picture for you. Sorry it took so long!

[caption id="attachment_619" align="aligncenter" width="480" caption="It's a 50', and the top line is 3'2", in case you were wondering."][/caption]

Honey, I need you to do this

My lesson with Shirley on Wednesday went great! I learned SOO much, it was completely worth it.

Anyways, my lesson was the first one (of 3 total). I decided that I wanted to work on our Circling Game, because Moose can't even make it around half a lap at the WALK before calling it quits. So, Shirley had me show her our HQ driving game first off. I moved his HQ around, and it moved fine, but she pointed out that his feet don't cross over like they should. So, our goal was to get him to cross over 3x in a row. He would do 2x just fine, but he'd cheat on the 3rd, so we ended up going round and round and round for whoever knows how many circles. We did it from both sides, so I'm sure Moose was dizzy by the time we were done.

Afterwards, I showed her our circles. And interestingly enough, Moose took off like a shot when I sent him the first time (he isn't used to having so particular of a leader, so I think it was too much pressure for him), and ran around like a nut  for a little while. (I don't remember the exact order of things after this, just an fyi). I also wanted to play with having Moose jump some barrels, because I could never get him to jump anything. So, while he's running around and not really thinking, he eventually encounters the barrels. At first, he'd swerve around them, then he'd jump them unconfidently, then he'd stop in front of them and ask me a question, so it was a process.

Shirley played with him for a little bit when he was in this  mode (it's not RBE like "I'm gonna die!!", it's more like "can't think, gotta move!"), but I ran in to get some fly spray at that time. When I saw him again, she was playing with yielding his hindquarters.

Then, we did sideways. I'm just starting sideways, so he did pretty well. Then, I showed her my squeeze and we combined the two. I did sideways, and then backed up and did squeeze. Once I got the feel down, Moose did really well. Shirley commented that this exercise is great for horses to learn where their feet are, and to be a little more nimble. I could see his progress, too, because when we started with the HQ driving game, he kept tripping on himself.

Now, I think we did our circling game again along with jumping the barrels. He was circling at the trot without breaking gait, and even jumping the barrels without hesitation! It was wonderful. And he was pulling on me less than the first time, too.

Then, we did Stick to Me, and once Shirley had him go between me and our round pen fence, it got WAY better. He understood to go when I go, and stop when I stop. It was so cool to see him mirror me like that!

And I was pretty surprised by this, but Shirley told me that Moose is not an RBI. She thinks he's actually an LBI, just a pretty mild one. She said half-way through my lesson that she hadn't seen him go Right Brain once during this whole thing! So, I guess I do have to more forward more. I was always going slow for him, because I wante to keep his confidence.

Here's what I learned:

• The title was the theme of all the lessons today


• It's okay to have expectations for Moose


• I need to be a better leader and get Moose through his can't think phase, instead of avoiding it


• Every horse needs a leader, even the self-confident/dominant ones


• It's not rocket science!


• Your horse will show the same amount of enthusiasm that you put in.

Afterwards, 2 other friends had their lessons. Dancer's owner Lisa went first and it was nice to see what Shirley had them do. They started out with Circling Game, too, and then spent the remainder of their time working on Sideways game. Dancer is very dominant, and Shirley had Lisa assert her leadership, but it was a gradual thing versus just fight through it. So, from that session I learned that passive persistence pays off and the importance of defending your space.

Then, another friend named Lisa had a lesson. But in this one, Shirley played with the horse the whole time, but that's because the horse was an untrained 2 year old. The theme of this lesson was that you can't keep babying these horses (see link). Yes, they're untrained. Yes, some of them are untouched. But you have to move past that and treat them like normal horses. Of course, you have to be cautious, but you still have to act like the calm, confident, competent leader that they need.

And a friend took some pictures of Moose and I, so they will be added to this post as soon as I get them!

7 years ago . . . And now

7 years ago. . . I never knew Moose existed. I've now owned him for 10 months. And guess what happened a few days ago!?! Moose's old owner called us! It turns out 7 years ago Moose was owned by a lady named Stephanie in Dubuque, Iowa:

[googlemaps http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=dubuque+iowa&sll=42.187883,-91.881592&sspn=175.05107,360&ie=UTF8&ll=42.795401,-90.43396&spn=1.410774,2.334595&z=8&output=embed&w=425&h=350]

She was kind enough to tell us a little about how she got him. As I said above, she owned him since he was 7 (he's 14 now). Technically, she co-owned him. It was her and her friend, and they both did different things with him. She did mostly dressage and eventing, and her friend was into hunter/jumper. So, he did a variety of things. She had him for 5 years . . . Eventually, her friend -and co-owner- decided to move to Florida. So, they decided to just donate Moose to a children's farm in Prairie Du Chien instead of going through all the hassle of selling him (they didn't want their friendship ruined over a horse).

And if all you blog readers think back far enough (or cheat and read the older posts), you'd know that I picked up Moose from Prairie Du Chien. So, I've got the past 7 years of Moose's life figured out. He was at Stephanie's, then at a children's farm, then at his previous owner's, and now here. And since I'm not planning on selling him anytime soon, it's my hope that he has a forever home with me. :)

Now, onto other news! The round pen is completely finished. I promise I'll put up pictures. Just got to bring a camera outside for once. Dancer and Bella have changed their attitude towards me a little bit, in a good way! They like me better now, which is always good.

Moosey and I are doing well. I'm suffering through a case of Mental Block, though. I'm running out of things to do on-line in L1, and now I don't know how  to teach him (and myself) Level 2 On-line. So, I think I'm going to be watching the new L2 kit from the library again. Hopefully, that should help!

And I actually got to teach Moose to play sideways game for the first sucessful time ever today! (Tried in the past, and it didn't work. He was scared of the electric fence). He's still an unconfident learner, but if I just take it slow, he does a LOT better. And I realized another key to success with him, is to WAIT after I do anything that should make him think. I noticed a long time ago that he doesn't lick his lips much, but I came to the realization recently that that is because I'm not providing him with enough time to think. And I got one full lap of Circling Game at the trot today! Gotta love the little successes.

Oh, and I sat on Moose today again, too. And he was relaxed about it. That's a pretty sweet achievement for us both, because then maybe I can start getting over my unconfidence of riding him!

And something else even: I am now going to be playing with another lady's horses, because she doesn't have enough time to play with them herself. She does Parelli, so almost all the horses know it. And there is horsenalities abound! I went by her place yesterday to meet her, so I haven't played with anyone yet, but it's going to be very cool. She has Rocky Mountains, Quarters, 2 Perlinos, a yearling, one horse that is blind in its left eye, a Standardbred that trots faster than some horses gallop, a Quarter that's smoother than her gaited hroses, a dwarf cat, and even a cat named Smokin' 22!!  If I remember correctly, she has 13 horses. It's going to be very fun! I'm pretty excited.

Parelli Principles On the Big Screen

I've had two interesting occasions I want to talk about. One is watching the movie Nanny McPhee. The other will come in another post.

I want to talk about Nanny McPhee first.  Click on the link above to read more about the movie, but here's a quick video that sums up the plot:



I saw it the other night, and I really liked McPhee. But of course, I'm thinking in horse terms: she taught me a lot about encouraging the ideas of LBEs. Here's a good example: In one scene, Nanny McPhee told the kids that they had a half hour to get out of bed. Of course, the kids were rebellious, and decided to try to trick the Nanny. So, they painted their faces white with red dots. After the half hour was up, Nanny McPhee returned and found the kids had somehow got the 'measles.' Of course, she can see that they don't have it, but she encourages their idea. Here's her exact words:

"How can it be anything other? The chalky-white faces, the livid spots, the temperatures of 120 degrees. I've seen it time and again. Measles. Definitely."

And then she makes it uncomfortable. The kids just wanted to stay in bed all day, so she makes them stay in bed until they get sick of it. And this cauzes them to realize that their idea isn't so fun after all. The price of staying in bed means eating nasty 'medicines', so their idea backfires.

So, hey. I guess Parelli really does apply to other areas of our life. Horsemanship lessons can be found almost anywhere, if you look hard enough.