Love of Learning

I have to say, one of the most amazing things in the world is the fact that you can never not learn something out by your horse. I'm serious! I think the only way that could ever happen for me would be if I patted Moose on the head and then left about 2 seconds later. Other than that I always learn something.

So, of course, today was no exception. And the marvelous part was I didn't even do anything! I gave the pony some food and just decided to stay outside with him for a while. So to him I was probably nothing more than a nuisance :) but a thinking nuisance nonetheless. And my thinking brain was busy having BFOs.

I just got outside after reading some very interesting articles on line about self-worth. So this was part of the BFO. Basically, I realized that I have conditional self-worth based on how I look. No wonder I have pretty low self-confidence.

But in being outside by Moose, I had a lot of situations running through my head: trailer-loading, riding, picking his feet up. They all have a lack of respect. So I'm missing the leadership.

BING BING BING! *Flashing lights going off*

There's a connection there. I'm still mulling it over, but basically what I've realized is that I am not the leader, because I am not sure of myself. And when I'm not sure, I lend Moose the leadership. Here's a better way to explain:  instead of being independent, I have made myself co-dependent on him. At least for riding. Because when I'm on his back, I don't feel sure (because I expect him to behave badly), so I tell him "Moose take care of me!" and he goes "Ha! Heck with that!" and takes me for a joy ride.

Hmmm. . . Like I said, still mulling it over, but I think I'm on to something here. There's definitely a connection between my self-confidence and his lack of respect, that's kind of a given, but I've never thought about it like this before, that I was basically handing him the leadership role. We'll see what the next session brings :)

Dear Thumberly

Last Sunday I hurt my thumb playing soccer, so I wasn't able to do much with Moose that week. Before that I was having a good time riding. Still trying to get that circle pattern Farrah so graciously put us on almost 6 months ago. And am job scouting as usual. Hopefully I find something soon! And I hope my thumb gets back to normal this week, although it's doing much better now.

"The Writing is on the Wall"

I'd like to give a super huge girly squeal of delight. *EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!* So why all the shouting?? Ha ha ha I have finally figured out this bugger called "Erica's Future." To be honest with you, it's probably been nagging at me since the day I was born. . . the eternal question "What to do when I get older?" Well, I've answered that question, but then it came again in another form. . ."Ok, so how do I get there?"

3 Options were nagging at me for some time now:

1. Go to college
2. Go to Parelli
3. Go back to Heartland

See, this college thing has been really really bugging me, because 'everyone' says "go to college, you make more money, you meet friends, you earn a living." Well, that's all fine and dandy, so I'll go look up colleges. But I don't know what I want to go for. I'd go for Spanish, but what am I going to do with that? I want to be with horses, and there aren't any horse colleges out there that are feasible/what I'm looking for.

So I thought about it. . . and came up with something. . . horses aren't exactly 'everyone'. That's not exactly a typical job. So maybe I need a not so typical career path? Maybe my life is different than yours and that's ok. Am I a little worried about it right now? Yeah. But I could always go back. If my goal is to keep learning, I could always go back. But right now, college would do nothing for me besides putting me in debt. Would I meet some cool people? Sure! But am I going to meet cool people in "Parelli-land" as well? Definitely :)

But then, as well, there's this issue called price. . . . And hey, a friend of mine just made me have a BFO. Like "hey you remember that thing called the working student program?!?!?! Um, well you could do that!!!!!" Oh my god, duh! :D

Sorry for all the childishness, but I'm pretty much ecstatic! I forgot all about this program, and it's basically going to save my life! Yay to the future!

But oh, the title! The title to this post is dedicated to my dear old mother for the advice she would always give me when I would bang my head against the table struggling with this. With this in mind, it is only fitting that I end with my response, which is

"Not helpful."

(except it helped)

30 Day Blog Challenge

Yeah, sorry I must have turned into a real LBE because I just find these questions fairly dull. They're not thought-provoking enough for me. I got bored haha. So I wanted to say I renounce this challenge, because yes, I have failed. But that is ok, because it still has gotten me somewhere. I am blogging, aren't I? :)