In the land of Parelli, this sort of phrase is not one that you will commonly find. Many horse lovers experience fear at some point in their lives, and a lot of people feel liberated that Parelli instead uses the principle of "approach and retreat" (or better: "retreat then re-approach) instead of just forcing people through their thresholds. However, I am finding that in my own life, the title may sometimes be the more appropriate thing to do.
As an example, in my life one of my goals is to develop a wider circle of friends. However, I find that many times when I am presented with an opportunity to make more friends, I tend to balk. I know what my goal is, but in the moment, my brain cannot process anything besides "ALERT: DISCOMFORT!" and I bow out. While it may make the discomfort go away, it doesn't help me reach my goal. So, maybe sometimes it would be more beneficial for me to just do it.
Another little thought: have you ever had someone who could see right through you? As in, they jumped right in and instantly blew apart your comfort zone? From time to time, I get people like that in my life. A few of my co-workers, actually, were pretty good at it (unknowingly). Usually I end up disliking people who make me feel so uncomfortable, but there was one guy at work named Jay who was pretty cool. He was extremely sociable and confident in himself and basically just thrust me into the world as if everything was easy breezy. I remember one day he ran outside of the dining room quick, because he thought he heard a gun shot, but upon realizing there was none, he turned to me and yelled "holy crap! Feel my chest! My heart's beating like crazy!" And I instantly withdrew, because I'm not comfortable doing that.
There was another guy I went to high school with, who for a time wanted to be friends with me. We were in a group together for a project and he got my number, asked me to hang out a few times (which I refused) and then quickly proclaimed that I was boring. I was pissed.
"I am NOT BORING!" I'd yell at him whenever he would tell me I was.
"Yeah?" He'd smirk. "Then what do you ever do for fun?" At my immediate glance away, he'd presume his victory and puff his chest out like a tom cat. But after a few days, he got bored with 'boring old me' and went back to talking to his friends during class. I don't think he even realizes that I still remember the encounter, because it did have an effect on me. He is SO opposite of me! Similar to my co-worker, he is loud, extremely obnoxious and social, yet intent on living it up. Literally, for me to even be near him is outside of my comfort zone. I don't know if he ever realized that.
Upon reflection, both of these individuals were good teachers for the times that they were in my life. They immediately honed in on areas where I'm uncomfortable and did a good job of making me feel that way. So while being uncomfortable feels horrible and awful, I realize now that being uncomfortable means that I'm growing. It's usually not something to be avoided like the plague. It's a good thing :)
So where are you letting fear stop you in your life? How can you be uncomfortable today?
Love,
Erica
