You are the creator of your own reality
While I have heard this phrase many times, and even thought I knew what it meant in the past, I have to say that I was slightly mistaken. Have you ever really taken the time and thought about it? You are THE CREATOR of your own REALITY. So it's not your Mom, or your long-lost sister-in-law, or your pal Fido who's tweaking the gears on your life. It's YOU. YOU have complete and utter control of your own life.
Wow.
What a thought, huh?
So. . . What does this mean? Well, it means that we are responsible for our own lives. Another saying I've heard a billion times: life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you make of it. Life is not about what happens to us. It's about what we do with what happens to us.
As you may imagine, for someone on the path of self-improvement, this was a huge wake-up call to me. I have actually had this realization in the past, but it has never sunk in to this extent before. I have a bad habit of bombarding myself with information and not actually taking the time it takes to actually use this information to improve my life. Basically, I spin my own wheels. "Oh, I'm improving! See, look at all this new information I found!" But as Parelliers say, knowledge starts at the eyebrows and then it filters downwards. Or another tidbit that I actually learned in my psychology class. Learning is defined as "a semi-permanent change in behavior resulting from experience." Therefore, even though I have found all this information, if I have not actually used it in my life, it is worthless to me. I have not learned anything. It simply serves to keep me stuck.
See the reason this is so incredible to me is that I have already known this. I have become more self-aware as of late, and I realized that I had to change. But I am afraid of the unknown. Going outside my comfort zone is scary. And so I would have a huge realization like this, write it down, but then not change anything in my lifestyle. . . .
Unfortunately, that is not how life works. If I want the life of my dreams, I am responsible for making it happen.
As an example, one of my goals in life is to be fit and active. All advice books out there anywhere would tell you that being active is huge for increasing your overall happiness level. I KNOW that. I've felt it myself when I do exercise. And unfortunately (or not . . . depending on whether you want to stay stuck), there will never be a note taped to my door "Erica - you should exercise now" and then I just get up and start exercising. What I'm saying is that the motivation for exercising has to come from inside and it has to come NOW.
Ok, spare me a moment, I'm going to go on a tangent for a second. It's along these lines, I promise. One of my HUGEST things in my life was, and continues to be, finding my passion. I feel as if I've looked up and down every nook and cranny of my life in order to find it (though that's not true). About every few months, I'd have a breakdown time where I'd be so frustrated and grovel "God, why can't you just TELL me what I'm meant to do?!? That would be SOOO much easier!" But I started to think about that. . . What if that actually did happen? Could you imagine? What if I woke up one morning with a voicemail, "Hey Erica, God speaking, just wanted to let you know that you should be XYZ. K love ya, bye!" It'd be absurd! What if I didn't have any interest in doing XYZ? Or what if I didn't do it on purpose, just to see what would happen? So I realized that having someone tell me what to do wouldn't work at all. It truly does have to come from inside.
To be honest, I tell you all this with a weary heart. I would compare myself (minimally) to someone with a disease who is now told that they are cured but doesn't feel happy at this revelation. It is a wonderful thing to know, because now I am literally free to do as I please! The world is mine! But it makes me sad. I was so comfortable in the unhappiness of my old life. Was I happy? No. But I have gotten used to the discomfort. Kind of sad, right?
Anyways, I thought I would post about it and tell you all so that I am more accountable. A small part of me is tempted to just file this information away yet again so that I can play the victim once more in my life. . . However . . . that WILL NOT lead me to the life that I want to live.
So, here's to learning! And change! And being uncomfortable!
Love,
Erica
P.S. There's more to this story. I didn't go into it here, but there's a book in particular that caused a big part of this revelation and I will share it with you in another post :)
P.P.S. Also, I have yet to tell you about this wonderful self-love course that I am currently a part of . . . So stay tuned ;)
