I wanted to mention the dialogue in my head today. I was thinking about being sure, and the scenario I created was a college professor talking to his students. P for professor, S for student(s). It's a little repetitive in some parts, and I came up with it myself, so it's not going to be super incredible: only positive comments please!
P: Pat Parelli says that the only way to know you're sure is that you're sure. So how do you know you're sure?
S: When you're sure, like you just said.
P: Okay, but how do you know you're sure? What's the difference between being sure and unsure?
S: Your confidence in your beliefs. If you're sure, you'll be confident in what you believe.
P: Okay, so what would make you sure that 2+2=4?
S: You just know. It's always been that way.
P: For you.
S: Yes, for me.
P: So, would a Kindergartener know that 2+2=4?
S: Well, maybe not.
P: Okay, so what about a 6th grader: would they know?
S: Certainly.
P: You're sure?
S: Positive.
P: Why?
S: That's a higher level of education.
P: Meaning?
S: They should already know 2+2 and 2-2 and 2x2 and even 2/2. 2+2 is only the foundation, and they're way past that.
P: Okay, then. So, why would you expect a 6th grader to know 2+2, but not a Kindergartener?
S: They're farther along in their learning. A Kindergartener doesn't know that much yet.
P: Okay, so relating this back to horses. Would you expect a baby horse to know 2+2, figuratively?
S: No.
P: Why?
S: He's not ready for that yet.
P: But you would expect a '6th grade' horse to know 2+2?
S: Yep.
P: So, how could he be sure that 2+2=4?
S: By what we taught him.
P: So, your actions influence what he learns?
S: Yep.
P: Okay, so if a Kindergartener went to a different school, would you expect them to know that 2+2=4?
S: No, because they haven't learned that in the first place.
P: Okay, what about the 6th grader?
S: Yeah, he should know that, but maybe he'd be a little bit confused about the higher up concepts. Maybe he'd learn another way to do 2x2=4, but the basic 2+2 wouldn't change at all.
P: Okay, then, back to the horse scenario again. We've established that we cause horses to be sure based on the feedback we give them. So, what would happen if the '6th grade' horse got sold and went to another owner? Would 2+2 still equal 4?
S: Maybe, but probably not. Every new owner would have different ways of communicating and different cues for things. So, they might learn that 2+2=5.
P: So, then how would the horse be sure?
S: Based on what the human tells them.
P: But do you see how easy it would be for a horse to be unsure, then, if every time he changed homes, the rules of reality changed?
S: Yeah.
P: So, now what about the 12th grade horse? Here's the guy who's graduating in a year and is all set to work the rest of his life. He knows his job, does it well, and can teach new riders by this point. What happens to him?
S: You'd have to re-teach him starting from the basics.
P: Is that fair?
S: Not necessarily, but it can be better if it's better for the horse.
P: Would that ever happen to a human (unless they moved ouside their country)?
S: No.
So, what should you have gotten from all this? For one thing, like Pat said, the only way to know you're sure is that you're sure. And the only way for your horse to be sure is that you're sure and you get him sure, too.
But you can clearly see the benefits of being all on the same page. This doesn't have to be with a different owner. Sometimes it can be the same owner on different days. One day 2+2=4, the next day 2+2=5. So, maybe we can all learn some empathy when our horses aren't sure around us. Maybe we just need to look inward, before we point the finger. Just something to ponder.
