I've discovered something about balance today. Moose and Bella have recently been put into another pasture to graze, since ours is bone-dry. The grass all died and went to heaven apparently, leaving our horses with hell on earth: no food. But, thankfully, with the use of this pasture they'll be fine.
So, anyways. I was ducking underneath the electric wire, and it hit me. Balance. How I was ducking under the fence, if I needed to stop suddenly because I was running over a horse's threshold, I couldn't! I needed to put my other foot down, I couldn't stay just as I was.
Another way of explaining: you know how we all want our horses to have go = woah? Well, humans need that too! I wasn't prepared in the proper position to help my horse, and I've come to the realization that this is a pattern in my life. With horses anyways. I feel like if someone was going to yell to me at sometime in our play session "STOP!" I couldn't do it, I'd probably trip over myself. It's finding the grace of movement, I guess that's how I'd explain it. You know when you see people who do Tai Chi or some kind of slow, but powerful martial arts every movement just feels very balanced and planned. I don't feel that way. My movements are clumsy and jerky. I'm the person who moves because they have to, as in the instance I talked about above. I get myself all tangled up so I have to move, so I couldn't be effective even if I wanted to. My timing and balance is off. So with is I was losing feel. Very good to know.
And I also discovered how Moose doesn't really trust me. Bella does, we are now on very good terms, but Moose has been holding back. I really thought about him today, and figured out he doesn't trust me. Not in the terms that he's an RBI and goes introverted within himself. No, like he's being stubborn about it. He's set in his ways. He's LBI about it, he's decided that people aren't something he wants to be involved with. I don't know what made him decide this, or if he was born that way, I have no idea. But I want him to trust me. And I now that in order for that to happen, he has to decide it himself.
With Bella, see, if you get in a tricky situation, she trusts me. If I were riding her (although I don't) and she got freaked out about something, I would be saying the equivalent of (or would WANT to anyways, because I doubt I could be so calm)"Bella, calm down. Trust me, you're going to live." Because that's what she needs to hear at that time: gentle, yet firm. But with Moose, If I got into a situation where he got scared, and I did the same thing, he wouldn't relax like Bella would, he'd go "No, I don't believe you." There is nothing I have that can make him trust me.
I remember reading in one of Mark Rashid's books once about a horse that was uncatchable. They turned it into a pasture for a few months. Huge pasture, lots of other horses. Everything was fine. Until one day they needed to halter all the horses to move them into another pasture. They caught every one of them just fine, except this horse. They walked out to catch it, the horse ran away. They said "alrighty then." And came out there every half hour or every hour afterwards to ask if it still didn't want to be caught. The horse was neighing and whinnying for its buddies like crazy. Eventually, since he realized he was getting nowhere, the horse let himself be caught. And he was never hard to catch anytime after that either.
See, he learned what he needed to learn. There was no opposition here. What, the fence for keeping him in? No, that's how humans think. We would blame the fence if we're trapped somewhere, but the horse was just fighting himself. He had a way out. And that's the kind of situation Moose needs to be in. He needs to learn that he's only inconveniencing himself by not trusting me. I can't force my hand, I can't change his mind. He has to change it. I could go out there with cookies or a whip and either bribe him or force him to trust me, but neither of those work. I want to offer myself up as a friend. I want to be his friend, and then once we can be friends and we trust each other, I can pursue more levels in Parelli. Because with him not trusting me, it's not fair of me to ask.
But yeah, so I don't get direct-lined about saying "trust me now!" to him, I thought of a quote. This also goes along with a story I just wrote which I may or may not post. The quote is: "You don't need to trust me completely: you got your whole lifetime for that. Right now I just need you to trust me enough to get in that trailer."
Showing posts with label Linda Parelli. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Linda Parelli. Show all posts
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Soul to Soul or Eye to Eye
I was watching a video done by Pat Parelli in 1987 the other day. For Savvy Club Members, you can find it on line. It's called California Expo 1987 Mar 06. It's a little hard to hear what Pat's saying, as a forewarning, but it's an incredible show of just how talented Pat is, and this is even 23 years ago!
But, the bad hearing turned out to be a blessing. It really made me pay attention to what Pat was doing more than what he was saying. So, I was absolutely astounded when the end result of what looked to be a few needless things turned out to be him riding the horse around bridleless. And what happens when things go bad (no spoilers here, watch it yourself). And the video's only about a half hour long, too. I was astounded.
So, while walking my dog I really thought with how in the world Pat was able to bring that change in that horse around so quickly. It looked like he was barely doing anything except yielding the horse's HQ. And I came across an interesting scenario.
While I was walking my dog Morrie there are some cows who just got brought in at a neighbor's house. I didn't know at the time, but my dog seems to just love them. I think he thinks they're just huge dogs or something, because he gets really excited whenever he sees them. And so I follow some of Cesar Millan's dog psychology, and like what he does, so I got to act as him for a little bit to keep Morrie under control. It didn't work. Well, I had an epiphany. The reason things didn't work with Morrie was because I was relying on my eyes. I couldn't feel his energy. So, I'd only discipline him whenever he looked excited, but I couldn't actually feel his energy. I still can't.
And I realized that I think that's a part of what I'm lacking with the horses. Now, I'm sure it takes a long time to develop this, and I also believe that this a part of what Tom Dorrance calls feel. I likened it to being on a soul to soul level, instead of just eye to eye. Because with horses, and with Morrie, I look at what they're doing, but I can't really feel it like Pat or Cesar can. Not that I expect to, but it was a very interesting realization. Partially, because it really gave me a deeper respect for people who are good with horses (and Cesar, too), but also because I can really see how this would transmit to horses.
If you could just feel their energy, and what state they're in at that time, you would do the right thing. It's exactly like one of my favorite quotes from Linda Parelli: "If you can read the horse, you'd know what to do." And so I realized one of the reasons I can't read horses very well yet is because I can't feel of them yet, and if I can't do that there's no way we can feel together, and eventually get them to feel for me.
But, the bad hearing turned out to be a blessing. It really made me pay attention to what Pat was doing more than what he was saying. So, I was absolutely astounded when the end result of what looked to be a few needless things turned out to be him riding the horse around bridleless. And what happens when things go bad (no spoilers here, watch it yourself). And the video's only about a half hour long, too. I was astounded.
So, while walking my dog I really thought with how in the world Pat was able to bring that change in that horse around so quickly. It looked like he was barely doing anything except yielding the horse's HQ. And I came across an interesting scenario.
While I was walking my dog Morrie there are some cows who just got brought in at a neighbor's house. I didn't know at the time, but my dog seems to just love them. I think he thinks they're just huge dogs or something, because he gets really excited whenever he sees them. And so I follow some of Cesar Millan's dog psychology, and like what he does, so I got to act as him for a little bit to keep Morrie under control. It didn't work. Well, I had an epiphany. The reason things didn't work with Morrie was because I was relying on my eyes. I couldn't feel his energy. So, I'd only discipline him whenever he looked excited, but I couldn't actually feel his energy. I still can't.
And I realized that I think that's a part of what I'm lacking with the horses. Now, I'm sure it takes a long time to develop this, and I also believe that this a part of what Tom Dorrance calls feel. I likened it to being on a soul to soul level, instead of just eye to eye. Because with horses, and with Morrie, I look at what they're doing, but I can't really feel it like Pat or Cesar can. Not that I expect to, but it was a very interesting realization. Partially, because it really gave me a deeper respect for people who are good with horses (and Cesar, too), but also because I can really see how this would transmit to horses.
If you could just feel their energy, and what state they're in at that time, you would do the right thing. It's exactly like one of my favorite quotes from Linda Parelli: "If you can read the horse, you'd know what to do." And so I realized one of the reasons I can't read horses very well yet is because I can't feel of them yet, and if I can't do that there's no way we can feel together, and eventually get them to feel for me.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Reality Check
Couple of things to talk about. First, I thought everyone should know that Horse.com is currently holding a contest for pictures of your horse and/or you to go on the cover of their magazine. The prize is a $2500 gift card, and pictures are due on May 31, 09. For more information, click here.
Okay, so secondly I wanted to talk about the past few days. Well, I think it was on Friday that I watched the newest Parelli DVD called Solving the Extrovert/Introvert Mismatch (or something similar). Well, I have to say I am VERY impressed. Personally, I think these are the kinds of DVDs that Parelli should have in the Success Series, because this is the kind of stuff I'm looking for/need help with. This really helped answer my questions about how to act around our horses, and how to manage my energy better. I had no idea how different your energy had to be for each horsenality. Slow reactions for Introverts, fast reactions for Extroverts. . . who knew? I was never told that energy changed that much. Also, I learned some more huge pieces of information.
For one thing, RBE's and LBE's have totally different strategies. I have been using some RBE strategies with Dancer, which is actually a very BAD idea. I'm just lucky Dancer isn't as agressive with me as she could have been. See, most Parelli people know that with RBE's you need to use "thanks, I needed that" type things once and while. But I was doing that to Dancer. I would say "Don't do this, don't do that." But with LBE's you dominate them through "You want to ____. Let me help you!" until they run out of ideas. So, it shouldn't be a fight at all! I wish I would've known this months ago!
Thirdly, the DVD showed a very interesting tip for aggressive horses. Linda said when you have an aggressive horse, give them a treat (while they're being dominant), because it'll blow their mind! I have to admit, though, that when I heard her say that it blew my mind too. I was thinking "But, wouldn't that teach them to be aggressive?" I actually had to pause the segment for a moment and think about it. I couldn't reach a conclusion. Well, on it went again. Linda answered my question about a minute later :). She said that horses don't think like that - they can't think that far into the future to plan out that 'being aggressive = treats'. Personally, I'm still a little confused as to how that could be, because horses are very quick to notice that when they ______(insert action), they receive a treat. Oh, well that's another topic.
Fourthly (if that is a word), I had a BFO about our relationship. Unfortunately, I had been being direct-line for the past couple of MONTHS (which is what was causing me to be frustrated and Moosey to be RBI, as I mentioned in previous posts). Poor Moose!! I didn't care about the relationship (albeit I thought I did), and had instead been focusing on making him do the task. Hey, I REALLY REALLY want to reach level 4, you know. :) Well, at least the good news is that I noticed what I was doing and I fixed it. See, I had broken my expectations and attitude. Now, my expectations are nada and my attitude is positively great. Moosey likes it a lot better, too. I took him out yesterday and he was really interested in me and left brain. He even walked to me!
It is still going to take a little while to fully change my timing and be positive, but I'm ready for the change. It's a LOT better than being frustrated. I still am tempted to make him pay attention to me and get after him for things I consider 'disrespectful', but I am determined not to be like that anymore. I should be his sanctuary, his safehouse! Plus, I just have to remember that the people in Level 3 + didn't get there by forcing their horse. They got their by putting the relationship first, and then everything else fell into place.
Okay, so secondly I wanted to talk about the past few days. Well, I think it was on Friday that I watched the newest Parelli DVD called Solving the Extrovert/Introvert Mismatch (or something similar). Well, I have to say I am VERY impressed. Personally, I think these are the kinds of DVDs that Parelli should have in the Success Series, because this is the kind of stuff I'm looking for/need help with. This really helped answer my questions about how to act around our horses, and how to manage my energy better. I had no idea how different your energy had to be for each horsenality. Slow reactions for Introverts, fast reactions for Extroverts. . . who knew? I was never told that energy changed that much. Also, I learned some more huge pieces of information.
For one thing, RBE's and LBE's have totally different strategies. I have been using some RBE strategies with Dancer, which is actually a very BAD idea. I'm just lucky Dancer isn't as agressive with me as she could have been. See, most Parelli people know that with RBE's you need to use "thanks, I needed that" type things once and while. But I was doing that to Dancer. I would say "Don't do this, don't do that." But with LBE's you dominate them through "You want to ____. Let me help you!" until they run out of ideas. So, it shouldn't be a fight at all! I wish I would've known this months ago!
Thirdly, the DVD showed a very interesting tip for aggressive horses. Linda said when you have an aggressive horse, give them a treat (while they're being dominant), because it'll blow their mind! I have to admit, though, that when I heard her say that it blew my mind too. I was thinking "But, wouldn't that teach them to be aggressive?" I actually had to pause the segment for a moment and think about it. I couldn't reach a conclusion. Well, on it went again. Linda answered my question about a minute later :). She said that horses don't think like that - they can't think that far into the future to plan out that 'being aggressive = treats'. Personally, I'm still a little confused as to how that could be, because horses are very quick to notice that when they ______(insert action), they receive a treat. Oh, well that's another topic.
Fourthly (if that is a word), I had a BFO about our relationship. Unfortunately, I had been being direct-line for the past couple of MONTHS (which is what was causing me to be frustrated and Moosey to be RBI, as I mentioned in previous posts). Poor Moose!! I didn't care about the relationship (albeit I thought I did), and had instead been focusing on making him do the task. Hey, I REALLY REALLY want to reach level 4, you know. :) Well, at least the good news is that I noticed what I was doing and I fixed it. See, I had broken my expectations and attitude. Now, my expectations are nada and my attitude is positively great. Moosey likes it a lot better, too. I took him out yesterday and he was really interested in me and left brain. He even walked to me!
It is still going to take a little while to fully change my timing and be positive, but I'm ready for the change. It's a LOT better than being frustrated. I still am tempted to make him pay attention to me and get after him for things I consider 'disrespectful', but I am determined not to be like that anymore. I should be his sanctuary, his safehouse! Plus, I just have to remember that the people in Level 3 + didn't get there by forcing their horse. They got their by putting the relationship first, and then everything else fell into place.
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