I've discovered something about balance today. Moose and Bella have recently been put into another pasture to graze, since ours is bone-dry. The grass all died and went to heaven apparently, leaving our horses with hell on earth: no food. But, thankfully, with the use of this pasture they'll be fine.
So, anyways. I was ducking underneath the electric wire, and it hit me. Balance. How I was ducking under the fence, if I needed to stop suddenly because I was running over a horse's threshold, I couldn't! I needed to put my other foot down, I couldn't stay just as I was.
Another way of explaining: you know how we all want our horses to have go = woah? Well, humans need that too! I wasn't prepared in the proper position to help my horse, and I've come to the realization that this is a pattern in my life. With horses anyways. I feel like if someone was going to yell to me at sometime in our play session "STOP!" I couldn't do it, I'd probably trip over myself. It's finding the grace of movement, I guess that's how I'd explain it. You know when you see people who do Tai Chi or some kind of slow, but powerful martial arts every movement just feels very balanced and planned. I don't feel that way. My movements are clumsy and jerky. I'm the person who moves because they have to, as in the instance I talked about above. I get myself all tangled up so I have to move, so I couldn't be effective even if I wanted to. My timing and balance is off. So with is I was losing feel. Very good to know.
And I also discovered how Moose doesn't really trust me. Bella does, we are now on very good terms, but Moose has been holding back. I really thought about him today, and figured out he doesn't trust me. Not in the terms that he's an RBI and goes introverted within himself. No, like he's being stubborn about it. He's set in his ways. He's LBI about it, he's decided that people aren't something he wants to be involved with. I don't know what made him decide this, or if he was born that way, I have no idea. But I want him to trust me. And I now that in order for that to happen, he has to decide it himself.
With Bella, see, if you get in a tricky situation, she trusts me. If I were riding her (although I don't) and she got freaked out about something, I would be saying the equivalent of (or would WANT to anyways, because I doubt I could be so calm)"Bella, calm down. Trust me, you're going to live." Because that's what she needs to hear at that time: gentle, yet firm. But with Moose, If I got into a situation where he got scared, and I did the same thing, he wouldn't relax like Bella would, he'd go "No, I don't believe you." There is nothing I have that can make him trust me.
I remember reading in one of Mark Rashid's books once about a horse that was uncatchable. They turned it into a pasture for a few months. Huge pasture, lots of other horses. Everything was fine. Until one day they needed to halter all the horses to move them into another pasture. They caught every one of them just fine, except this horse. They walked out to catch it, the horse ran away. They said "alrighty then." And came out there every half hour or every hour afterwards to ask if it still didn't want to be caught. The horse was neighing and whinnying for its buddies like crazy. Eventually, since he realized he was getting nowhere, the horse let himself be caught. And he was never hard to catch anytime after that either.
See, he learned what he needed to learn. There was no opposition here. What, the fence for keeping him in? No, that's how humans think. We would blame the fence if we're trapped somewhere, but the horse was just fighting himself. He had a way out. And that's the kind of situation Moose needs to be in. He needs to learn that he's only inconveniencing himself by not trusting me. I can't force my hand, I can't change his mind. He has to change it. I could go out there with cookies or a whip and either bribe him or force him to trust me, but neither of those work. I want to offer myself up as a friend. I want to be his friend, and then once we can be friends and we trust each other, I can pursue more levels in Parelli. Because with him not trusting me, it's not fair of me to ask.
But yeah, so I don't get direct-lined about saying "trust me now!" to him, I thought of a quote. This also goes along with a story I just wrote which I may or may not post. The quote is: "You don't need to trust me completely: you got your whole lifetime for that. Right now I just need you to trust me enough to get in that trailer."
