Soul to Soul or Eye to Eye

I was watching a video done by Pat Parelli in 1987 the other day. For Savvy Club Members, you can find it on line. It's called California Expo 1987 Mar 06. It's a little hard to hear what Pat's saying, as a forewarning, but it's an incredible show of just how talented Pat is, and this is even 23 years ago!

But, the bad hearing turned out to be a blessing. It really made me pay attention to what Pat was doing more than what he was saying. So, I was absolutely astounded when the end result of what looked to be a few needless things turned out to be him riding the horse around bridleless. And what happens when things go bad (no spoilers here, watch it yourself). And the video's only about a half hour long, too. I was astounded.

So, while walking my dog I really thought with how in the world Pat was able to bring that change in that horse around so quickly. It looked like he was barely doing anything except yielding the horse's HQ. And I came across an interesting scenario.

While I was walking my dog Morrie there are some cows who just got brought in at a neighbor's house. I didn't know at the time, but my dog seems to just love them. I think he thinks they're just huge dogs or something, because he gets really excited whenever he sees them. And so I follow some of Cesar Millan's dog psychology, and like what he does, so I got to act as him for a little bit to keep Morrie under control. It didn't work. Well, I had an epiphany. The reason things didn't work with Morrie was because I was relying on my eyes. I couldn't feel his energy. So, I'd only discipline him whenever he looked excited, but I couldn't actually feel his energy. I still can't.

And I realized that I think that's a part of what I'm lacking with the horses. Now, I'm sure it takes a long time to develop this, and I also believe that this a part of what Tom Dorrance calls feel. I likened it to being on a soul to soul level, instead of just eye to eye. Because with horses, and with Morrie, I look at what they're doing, but I can't really feel it like Pat or Cesar can. Not that I expect to, but it was a very interesting realization. Partially, because it really gave me a deeper respect for people who are good with horses (and Cesar, too), but also because I can really see how this would transmit to horses.

If you could just feel their energy, and what state they're in at that time, you would do the right thing. It's exactly like one of my favorite quotes from Linda Parelli: "If you can read the horse, you'd know what to do." And so I realized one of the reasons I can't read horses very well yet is because I can't feel of them yet, and if I can't do that there's no way we can feel together, and eventually get them to feel for me.

A Horseman's Secret

I found a nice story on the Parelli forum:

Once there was a young cowboy working with horses and running into problems.
An old horseman came by and saw him struggling.
He asked the young man:
"Would you like to know the secrets of being a good horseman?"
"I would love to" the young man said.
The horseman held out a closed hand and said:
"If you can open this fist you will know the secret."
So...the young man pulled and pushed...and poked and struggled, then finally he gave up.
"I give up, I cant open it. What is the secret to open your fist?"
"You could have just asked me to" the horseman responded!

So, a nice message there. For another story, I played with Dancer yesterday and she was really RBE in the beginning. So, we flew sideways and backwards and I matched her energy the whole time! I also set up a little course for her to keep her interested in me.

And I found out that I don't know how to be the alpha with Dancer very well. Whenever I play with her, it always feels like we're both fighting for that #1 spot. So, Dancer never really has a ton of respect for me, because I don't know how to earn it yet!

But at least I'm not doing that badly! Dancer decided to roll while on line! There was a bunch of mud in her pasture, and since she was sweaty she took a couple of rolls. So, I can't be that bad or else she wouldn't feel safe enough to roll! Well, it was quite cute!

Expect a lot, Accept a little, Reward the slightest try

I have great news about Dancer's catching problems!! I was halfway across the pasture from Dancer today, with her halter in hand and Dancer trotted to me!! It was an amazing moment, because she looked so cute! Her ears were perked forward and she really looked happy to see me. It really made me think I'm on the right track with her, and that's such a relief!

Also, I was thinking about Dancer. She has proved to be a challenging little pony, lol. But I was thinking about how she has so much to teach me, because she's the kind of teacher who is looking for perfection from the beginning. Hence the title, because it seems like that's what she does!

Also, I'm happy about our progress together. I can see that I've still got a ways to go with her, but it's already come so far from what it was in the beginning when I was clueless. I still haven't got her respect 100% yet. I think it's going to take a LONG time for that (not that I'm not going to take that time, of course I am!!), but I know I've at least gained a few brownie points since then. Currently, Dancer respects me enough to keep her ears up when I'm with her, and watch my personal space, so that's definitely progress. If I had to guess, I'd say she respects me at near 65-70%.

I thought it was really inspiring when Heidi came to play with Dancer some months ago. What Heidi established with Dancer in a matter of minutes is something that I wish to be able to do. Plus, Heidi had Dancer's full respect! Basically, that showed me what I wanted Dancer's relationship to be with me.