Wednesday, October 21, 2009
More About Liberty
Did you like my little teaser about our Liberty session? It was way cool! I wasn't even in the round pen. We did Stick To Me at walk and trot, and back. He did excellent. He backed 3 steps by the tail. I porcupined and drove him a few steps. Wanted to see if he could do Z3 Driving, and that didn't work super well, but when I was in Zone 2 he understood. I didn't try any of the purpose games, since I didn't think he'd respond as well to those, since they aren't as well ingrained as our games 1-4. But it was a great start for our first ever Liberty session! And funnily enough, it was all on accident! I had no intentions of doing Liberty with him whatsoever. I just was having some problems haltering, because he kept throwing his head up every time I tried, and I didn't know what to do. So, I just moved his hindquarters. Then his forequarters. Then had him back up. . . etc, etc. It developed into the start of a new era! How exciting!
Thinking To Myself - Literally
I wanted to mention the dialogue in my head today. I was thinking about being sure, and the scenario I created was a college professor talking to his students. P for professor, S for student(s). It's a little repetitive in some parts, and I came up with it myself, so it's not going to be super incredible: only positive comments please!
P: Pat Parelli says that the only way to know you're sure is that you're sure. So how do you know you're sure?
S: When you're sure, like you just said.
P: Okay, but how do you know you're sure? What's the difference between being sure and unsure?
S: Your confidence in your beliefs. If you're sure, you'll be confident in what you believe.
P: Okay, so what would make you sure that 2+2=4?
S: You just know. It's always been that way.
P: For you.
S: Yes, for me.
P: So, would a Kindergartener know that 2+2=4?
S: Well, maybe not.
P: Okay, so what about a 6th grader: would they know?
S: Certainly.
P: You're sure?
S: Positive.
P: Why?
S: That's a higher level of education.
P: Meaning?
S: They should already know 2+2 and 2-2 and 2x2 and even 2/2. 2+2 is only the foundation, and they're way past that.
P: Okay, then. So, why would you expect a 6th grader to know 2+2, but not a Kindergartener?
S: They're farther along in their learning. A Kindergartener doesn't know that much yet.
P: Okay, so relating this back to horses. Would you expect a baby horse to know 2+2, figuratively?
S: No.
P: Why?
S: He's not ready for that yet.
P: But you would expect a '6th grade' horse to know 2+2?
S: Yep.
P: So, how could he be sure that 2+2=4?
S: By what we taught him.
P: So, your actions influence what he learns?
S: Yep.
P: Okay, so if a Kindergartener went to a different school, would you expect them to know that 2+2=4?
S: No, because they haven't learned that in the first place.
P: Okay, what about the 6th grader?
S: Yeah, he should know that, but maybe he'd be a little bit confused about the higher up concepts. Maybe he'd learn another way to do 2x2=4, but the basic 2+2 wouldn't change at all.
P: Okay, then, back to the horse scenario again. We've established that we cause horses to be sure based on the feedback we give them. So, what would happen if the '6th grade' horse got sold and went to another owner? Would 2+2 still equal 4?
S: Maybe, but probably not. Every new owner would have different ways of communicating and different cues for things. So, they might learn that 2+2=5.
P: So, then how would the horse be sure?
S: Based on what the human tells them.
P: But do you see how easy it would be for a horse to be unsure, then, if every time he changed homes, the rules of reality changed?
S: Yeah.
P: So, now what about the 12th grade horse? Here's the guy who's graduating in a year and is all set to work the rest of his life. He knows his job, does it well, and can teach new riders by this point. What happens to him?
S: You'd have to re-teach him starting from the basics.
P: Is that fair?
S: Not necessarily, but it can be better if it's better for the horse.
P: Would that ever happen to a human (unless they moved ouside their country)?
S: No.
So, what should you have gotten from all this? For one thing, like Pat said, the only way to know you're sure is that you're sure. And the only way for your horse to be sure is that you're sure and you get him sure, too.
But you can clearly see the benefits of being all on the same page. This doesn't have to be with a different owner. Sometimes it can be the same owner on different days. One day 2+2=4, the next day 2+2=5. So, maybe we can all learn some empathy when our horses aren't sure around us. Maybe we just need to look inward, before we point the finger. Just something to ponder.
P: Pat Parelli says that the only way to know you're sure is that you're sure. So how do you know you're sure?
S: When you're sure, like you just said.
P: Okay, but how do you know you're sure? What's the difference between being sure and unsure?
S: Your confidence in your beliefs. If you're sure, you'll be confident in what you believe.
P: Okay, so what would make you sure that 2+2=4?
S: You just know. It's always been that way.
P: For you.
S: Yes, for me.
P: So, would a Kindergartener know that 2+2=4?
S: Well, maybe not.
P: Okay, so what about a 6th grader: would they know?
S: Certainly.
P: You're sure?
S: Positive.
P: Why?
S: That's a higher level of education.
P: Meaning?
S: They should already know 2+2 and 2-2 and 2x2 and even 2/2. 2+2 is only the foundation, and they're way past that.
P: Okay, then. So, why would you expect a 6th grader to know 2+2, but not a Kindergartener?
S: They're farther along in their learning. A Kindergartener doesn't know that much yet.
P: Okay, so relating this back to horses. Would you expect a baby horse to know 2+2, figuratively?
S: No.
P: Why?
S: He's not ready for that yet.
P: But you would expect a '6th grade' horse to know 2+2?
S: Yep.
P: So, how could he be sure that 2+2=4?
S: By what we taught him.
P: So, your actions influence what he learns?
S: Yep.
P: Okay, so if a Kindergartener went to a different school, would you expect them to know that 2+2=4?
S: No, because they haven't learned that in the first place.
P: Okay, what about the 6th grader?
S: Yeah, he should know that, but maybe he'd be a little bit confused about the higher up concepts. Maybe he'd learn another way to do 2x2=4, but the basic 2+2 wouldn't change at all.
P: Okay, then, back to the horse scenario again. We've established that we cause horses to be sure based on the feedback we give them. So, what would happen if the '6th grade' horse got sold and went to another owner? Would 2+2 still equal 4?
S: Maybe, but probably not. Every new owner would have different ways of communicating and different cues for things. So, they might learn that 2+2=5.
P: So, then how would the horse be sure?
S: Based on what the human tells them.
P: But do you see how easy it would be for a horse to be unsure, then, if every time he changed homes, the rules of reality changed?
S: Yeah.
P: So, now what about the 12th grade horse? Here's the guy who's graduating in a year and is all set to work the rest of his life. He knows his job, does it well, and can teach new riders by this point. What happens to him?
S: You'd have to re-teach him starting from the basics.
P: Is that fair?
S: Not necessarily, but it can be better if it's better for the horse.
P: Would that ever happen to a human (unless they moved ouside their country)?
S: No.
So, what should you have gotten from all this? For one thing, like Pat said, the only way to know you're sure is that you're sure. And the only way for your horse to be sure is that you're sure and you get him sure, too.
But you can clearly see the benefits of being all on the same page. This doesn't have to be with a different owner. Sometimes it can be the same owner on different days. One day 2+2=4, the next day 2+2=5. So, maybe we can all learn some empathy when our horses aren't sure around us. Maybe we just need to look inward, before we point the finger. Just something to ponder.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Dancing Time
Well, doing a little cha-cha dance inside my skin right now. Moose and I did Liberty today!!!! It was incredible. Our first time ever. I'm so excited for it. We weren't even in the round pen. Go Parelli for teaching me to communicate with my horse!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Knowing The Unknown
Note: Sorry, this post is a little jumbled, but I don't feel like editing it right now. Just try to follow along as best you can.
Starting from the beginning: I went outside to play today after watching the July SC DVD called Riding with Balance (I think). It's an excellent DVD, I have lots to say about it, but that's another post. Anyways, I had riding on the brain, or more specifically, the Pushing Passenger Lesson (PPL). So, I wandered outside to play with the pony thinking about saddling him up and possibly riding with the saddle (which would be my 1st time ever riding him a saddle - not counting when I tried him out).
So, I'm direct-line. . got the saddle out. . . and blanket and grooming kit and shim . . . and a pad. So, I'm missing a horse. I grab the halter and 12'. Moose was in the stall, but wandered out once I let him sniff me. Nothing unusual there, very typical Moose. I walked over to him and Bella and let them sniff me. I pet Moose for a second, then put my arm over his neck to grab the halter. His head flung up. I tried again, same response. Note: I should add that this is a very typical response to haltering, but today he also had a very UNtypical Erica (although untypical is so not a word :) ). Being UNtypical, like I just said, I decided to actually try to fix this. It's been going on for maybe 3 months now, at a guess. I've always just said "Oh, I'll fix it next time. . . " Yeah, right! Moral of the story: I was direct-line about putting the halter on.
And today, I finally consciously acknowledged it. So, I tried backing him up when he threw his head up. No response, so I thought maybe he was out in La-La Land. I waited for him. Funnily enough, Bella came off adrenaline, while Moose just kept looking around. I started to mirror him. Maybe 5 minutes later, he licked his lips. I just kept mirroring him. Eventually, he licked his lips another 2 times and blew once. I was really happy with that, so now to progress to the next step. Touching him. I pretended to rub him, so just rubbed the air around him. Guess what happened? Head flung up. Woah! "How interesting!" I just learned something about Moose. He's really bracey! He flung his head up there because he thought I was playing Driving Game. Well, I wasn't, but that still tells me that his first response to pressure is to fling his head up. Huge BFO!! Whenever you ask him to do something, he braces. Now I have another puzzle piece to add to the puzzle. When backing, Moose always flings his head up before he backs. And when you get more particular about his responses on things, his confidence leaves and he turns RBI (he's usually a RBI learner anyways). Well, if he's bracing to begin with, no wonder! I blew through a threshold.
Back to our Moose scene, I decided to test my theory by purposely going past a boundary, (although Moose was Left Brain at this point because I waited for him). I put my hand on the crest of his withers, and kept it there for all activities following, to keep a connection with him and just to see if I could. His first reaction? Throw his head up, followed by: backing 2 steps, and swishing his tail. I waited for him: more tail swishing, backing, he stomped his foot 5x, and kind of half wrung his head. Then, he licked a few times. And this whole time, I'm keeping in mind that this is still his mostly left-brain response. I haltered up and went this whole few months with a RBI because I didn't take the time it takes for him to lick his lips, meaning I've been blowing through this threshold for a long time!
It was a huge realization for me, because if I was direct-line the whole time, that means that my horse never 'wanted' to be with me. I didn't care about his opinion. It was always "you're going to" instead of "hey, would you like to?" So, now I am creating a haltering program for the next few days until we get it solved.
Starting from the beginning: I went outside to play today after watching the July SC DVD called Riding with Balance (I think). It's an excellent DVD, I have lots to say about it, but that's another post. Anyways, I had riding on the brain, or more specifically, the Pushing Passenger Lesson (PPL). So, I wandered outside to play with the pony thinking about saddling him up and possibly riding with the saddle (which would be my 1st time ever riding him a saddle - not counting when I tried him out).
So, I'm direct-line. . got the saddle out. . . and blanket and grooming kit and shim . . . and a pad. So, I'm missing a horse. I grab the halter and 12'. Moose was in the stall, but wandered out once I let him sniff me. Nothing unusual there, very typical Moose. I walked over to him and Bella and let them sniff me. I pet Moose for a second, then put my arm over his neck to grab the halter. His head flung up. I tried again, same response. Note: I should add that this is a very typical response to haltering, but today he also had a very UNtypical Erica (although untypical is so not a word :) ). Being UNtypical, like I just said, I decided to actually try to fix this. It's been going on for maybe 3 months now, at a guess. I've always just said "Oh, I'll fix it next time. . . " Yeah, right! Moral of the story: I was direct-line about putting the halter on.
And today, I finally consciously acknowledged it. So, I tried backing him up when he threw his head up. No response, so I thought maybe he was out in La-La Land. I waited for him. Funnily enough, Bella came off adrenaline, while Moose just kept looking around. I started to mirror him. Maybe 5 minutes later, he licked his lips. I just kept mirroring him. Eventually, he licked his lips another 2 times and blew once. I was really happy with that, so now to progress to the next step. Touching him. I pretended to rub him, so just rubbed the air around him. Guess what happened? Head flung up. Woah! "How interesting!" I just learned something about Moose. He's really bracey! He flung his head up there because he thought I was playing Driving Game. Well, I wasn't, but that still tells me that his first response to pressure is to fling his head up. Huge BFO!! Whenever you ask him to do something, he braces. Now I have another puzzle piece to add to the puzzle. When backing, Moose always flings his head up before he backs. And when you get more particular about his responses on things, his confidence leaves and he turns RBI (he's usually a RBI learner anyways). Well, if he's bracing to begin with, no wonder! I blew through a threshold.
Back to our Moose scene, I decided to test my theory by purposely going past a boundary, (although Moose was Left Brain at this point because I waited for him). I put my hand on the crest of his withers, and kept it there for all activities following, to keep a connection with him and just to see if I could. His first reaction? Throw his head up, followed by: backing 2 steps, and swishing his tail. I waited for him: more tail swishing, backing, he stomped his foot 5x, and kind of half wrung his head. Then, he licked a few times. And this whole time, I'm keeping in mind that this is still his mostly left-brain response. I haltered up and went this whole few months with a RBI because I didn't take the time it takes for him to lick his lips, meaning I've been blowing through this threshold for a long time!
It was a huge realization for me, because if I was direct-line the whole time, that means that my horse never 'wanted' to be with me. I didn't care about his opinion. It was always "you're going to" instead of "hey, would you like to?" So, now I am creating a haltering program for the next few days until we get it solved.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Must-Watch Videos!
I'm in the process of making a videos page, since I found quite a few cool ones. But there were 2 that stood out that I want to share early, since one's just plain incredible, and the other one has a message to it.
I know, it's about dogs, but WATCH!!!
I know, it's about dogs, but WATCH!!!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The Power of Persistence/ Phase 3 X 3 Vs. Phase 4
Moosey and I had an incredible day a few days ago, along with my mom and Bella, too.
I experimented a lot with Phase 3 with rhythm instead of Phase 4. I don't really know what to call it, but it's the difference between Phase 4 and just a hard (in this case) Phase 3.
Because I realized today that when I do Phase 4 with Moose, he usually gets unconfident. So, that means my timing is off and that he was unsure when I got firm on him, not goofing around. So, what I did today was just do a Phase with rhythm, instead of the next phase. For example, Moose has a pretty good Yo-yo game. I do Phase 1 and he backs, but not with a lot of speed or a "Yes, sir!" attitude. So, I got a little more particular and upped to Phase 3 and asked told him to back, and then just kept repeating Phase 3 (which in this case was lightly doing that big move that's taught for yo-yo game in the Levels packs). This way I knew he was being dominant, but didn't take a chance with making him be unconfident either. I just matched his unwillingness to move, and didn't go into Phase 4 "Ka-pow", I just kept doing Phase 3 like I was until he made a change. Basically, I'm still looking for that middle ground of confident, but responsive. It seems to me like he's either unconfident or confident and unresponsive. So, I'm looking for a confident responsive horse! But I need to remember that in Moose's case, confidence comes before responsiveness.
And I've mentioned Bella's issue with trotting before. Yeah, I've been through some really bad days with her before, and came to the conclusion that we're just going to need to take one step at a time, and out-persist her. (That's going to be our biggest arrow here. I say 'our' because I'm trying to help my mom out with Bella.) So, we were first getting established in the walk. Our goal was to get 2 laps at the walk without her stopping. It took maybe 15 minutes, at a guess, but eventually she did it. So, that's great progress for Bella! I was so happy, because normally I can only get her to do 1 lap.
And I had another interesting thought (which I'll elaborate on in the next post): Moose has a Z3 issue. Remember that whole bareback pad incident? If not, it's here. Well, it turns out he doesn't have an issue only with the girth, he doesn't like things in Z3 touching him period.
I got creative today and tried to play with Moose using a broken hula-hoop -so it's like a hula-line now- and I set up a test for him. Once I had rubbed it all over him and done some Porcupine and Driving with it, I set it on his back and jogged off to play Stick To Me. He didn't go until I had used the whole 22' line, so I knew he was unconfident, but then he trotted off and kind of jolted forward and made a wierd sound and looked like he was going to kick. I stopped right away and took the hula-hoop off. Well, test failed, so I've found out a little bit more about him. Now I just have to figure out how to solve that. . . hmm. . .
The only downer about that day was that I pulled a nail back! Oops! My whole life I've had short nails, with an objection to long ones, so this summer I decided to grow them long just to see if I could. Well, I can, and now cutting them back to normal length (on the fingernail that got bent back) feels very awkward. Strange how my comfort zone has changed. But it was my fault anyways that the nail got pulled back: Moose and I were playing Stick To Me with the 22' and we turned, so he stepped on the excess 22' behind me, and I must've been holding it funny, because it bent my middle finger's nail back.
I experimented a lot with Phase 3 with rhythm instead of Phase 4. I don't really know what to call it, but it's the difference between Phase 4 and just a hard (in this case) Phase 3.
Because I realized today that when I do Phase 4 with Moose, he usually gets unconfident. So, that means my timing is off and that he was unsure when I got firm on him, not goofing around. So, what I did today was just do a Phase with rhythm, instead of the next phase. For example, Moose has a pretty good Yo-yo game. I do Phase 1 and he backs, but not with a lot of speed or a "Yes, sir!" attitude. So, I got a little more particular and upped to Phase 3 and asked told him to back, and then just kept repeating Phase 3 (which in this case was lightly doing that big move that's taught for yo-yo game in the Levels packs). This way I knew he was being dominant, but didn't take a chance with making him be unconfident either. I just matched his unwillingness to move, and didn't go into Phase 4 "Ka-pow", I just kept doing Phase 3 like I was until he made a change. Basically, I'm still looking for that middle ground of confident, but responsive. It seems to me like he's either unconfident or confident and unresponsive. So, I'm looking for a confident responsive horse! But I need to remember that in Moose's case, confidence comes before responsiveness.
And I've mentioned Bella's issue with trotting before. Yeah, I've been through some really bad days with her before, and came to the conclusion that we're just going to need to take one step at a time, and out-persist her. (That's going to be our biggest arrow here. I say 'our' because I'm trying to help my mom out with Bella.) So, we were first getting established in the walk. Our goal was to get 2 laps at the walk without her stopping. It took maybe 15 minutes, at a guess, but eventually she did it. So, that's great progress for Bella! I was so happy, because normally I can only get her to do 1 lap.
And I had another interesting thought (which I'll elaborate on in the next post): Moose has a Z3 issue. Remember that whole bareback pad incident? If not, it's here. Well, it turns out he doesn't have an issue only with the girth, he doesn't like things in Z3 touching him period.
I got creative today and tried to play with Moose using a broken hula-hoop -so it's like a hula-line now- and I set up a test for him. Once I had rubbed it all over him and done some Porcupine and Driving with it, I set it on his back and jogged off to play Stick To Me. He didn't go until I had used the whole 22' line, so I knew he was unconfident, but then he trotted off and kind of jolted forward and made a wierd sound and looked like he was going to kick. I stopped right away and took the hula-hoop off. Well, test failed, so I've found out a little bit more about him. Now I just have to figure out how to solve that. . . hmm. . .
The only downer about that day was that I pulled a nail back! Oops! My whole life I've had short nails, with an objection to long ones, so this summer I decided to grow them long just to see if I could. Well, I can, and now cutting them back to normal length (on the fingernail that got bent back) feels very awkward. Strange how my comfort zone has changed. But it was my fault anyways that the nail got pulled back: Moose and I were playing Stick To Me with the 22' and we turned, so he stepped on the excess 22' behind me, and I must've been holding it funny, because it bent my middle finger's nail back.
Friday, October 9, 2009
It's Raining Cats and Donkeys
Okay, so. . . The place I clean stalls at has cats that run around the place. 2 of those cats are kittens named Blanket and Pillow. They're adorable, but they've developed a nasty habit of climbing up people's pants legs.
So, the cats have really taught me a lot about focus. I've figured out that the cats tell you what happens before what happens happens. They stare at your knee, and crouch down, before they actually jump on your leg. Soooo. . . as soon as they jump, if I time it correctly, I can push my knee forward and they'll just run into it and fall off (they ran into my knee, I didn't try to hit them). But, that's only if I'm focusing on them. I've learned that in order for it to work, I need to catch it at that split second they're in the air. And . . . what's that saying again. . . something like: "Focus brings feel. Feel brings balance and timing. Feel, balance and timing are the tools of teaching." I realized that when I just tried to ignore the cats and clean the stalls, I'd miss every single time when they'd jump on me, so I now have scratch marks all over my legs to prove it. :) So, there is no focus without feel. But just goes to show you, "if you want to learn as bad as you want air, you'll be easy to teach" so then even cats can teach horsemanship lessons :)
Now, the donkey: Also located at where I clean stalls. There was a horse this past week who colicked severely, and so he's been on stall rest the past few days. To get him a little more comfortable with being stalled all day when his friends get to go outside, they brought donkey inside as a stallmate. Well, this was my first time ever interacting with a donkey, and wow is it different! They have a whole different mentality about them. It's almost like they're selfish, in a strange way. They don't have the willingness that horses have. I feel like I have to convince him to do everything, and even then his attitude is "so what?" It's very different. I'm now curious about how you would teach them, if there are donkey trainers out there. I really don't know much about them, so please excuse my ignorance.
Lastly, I had another revelation, this one not mentioned in the title. I was thinking about a lady's blog I read, and this post, in particular. I'll take you through my thought process. First, I was just thinking about how the way she writes is so foreign to me. To me it feels like she's playing 20 questions, because it's like I kind of know what she's talking about but she never really goes out and says it. But I also got to thinking about a post she wrote a long time ago (that I can no longer find or else I'd link to it) where she described her horse. The description was magnificent, but her horse (Cricket) sounded like a force to be reckoned with. I wish I could find the post, like I said just incredible word choice. So, I was thinking about these two things, and I thought about acceptance into all of that: Acceptance of where everyone's at in their journey. And I don't remember how, but I came to a conclusion. When you don't accept where you are at with your horse, that puts pressure on your relationship. Because if things don't go perfect when you step into the pasture, you're going to be unsatisfied. Because you'll wish you had it all yesterday. It's basically an endless cycle of dissatisfaction and direct-lineness. I've been there, done that, and am praying that I've got out of that house, locked the door and threw away the key. It's not a fun place to be. But heck, it took me a year and a half to realize this (though a friend or two knew all along).
I follow Edie Brogan's blog (an incredible read, just packed to the brim with information, I recommend it to anyone on a rainy day, but start with the oldest post first), and in one post she quoted an instructor and stated it perfectly: "He also talked a little more about how our horsemanship is a never-ending journey - and that if we’re not happy with NOW, we’ll never be happy, because it will never be 'perfect enough'."
I'll leave you with that statement in closing.
--Erica
So, the cats have really taught me a lot about focus. I've figured out that the cats tell you what happens before what happens happens. They stare at your knee, and crouch down, before they actually jump on your leg. Soooo. . . as soon as they jump, if I time it correctly, I can push my knee forward and they'll just run into it and fall off (they ran into my knee, I didn't try to hit them). But, that's only if I'm focusing on them. I've learned that in order for it to work, I need to catch it at that split second they're in the air. And . . . what's that saying again. . . something like: "Focus brings feel. Feel brings balance and timing. Feel, balance and timing are the tools of teaching." I realized that when I just tried to ignore the cats and clean the stalls, I'd miss every single time when they'd jump on me, so I now have scratch marks all over my legs to prove it. :) So, there is no focus without feel. But just goes to show you, "if you want to learn as bad as you want air, you'll be easy to teach" so then even cats can teach horsemanship lessons :)
Now, the donkey: Also located at where I clean stalls. There was a horse this past week who colicked severely, and so he's been on stall rest the past few days. To get him a little more comfortable with being stalled all day when his friends get to go outside, they brought donkey inside as a stallmate. Well, this was my first time ever interacting with a donkey, and wow is it different! They have a whole different mentality about them. It's almost like they're selfish, in a strange way. They don't have the willingness that horses have. I feel like I have to convince him to do everything, and even then his attitude is "so what?" It's very different. I'm now curious about how you would teach them, if there are donkey trainers out there. I really don't know much about them, so please excuse my ignorance.
Lastly, I had another revelation, this one not mentioned in the title. I was thinking about a lady's blog I read, and this post, in particular. I'll take you through my thought process. First, I was just thinking about how the way she writes is so foreign to me. To me it feels like she's playing 20 questions, because it's like I kind of know what she's talking about but she never really goes out and says it. But I also got to thinking about a post she wrote a long time ago (that I can no longer find or else I'd link to it) where she described her horse. The description was magnificent, but her horse (Cricket) sounded like a force to be reckoned with. I wish I could find the post, like I said just incredible word choice. So, I was thinking about these two things, and I thought about acceptance into all of that: Acceptance of where everyone's at in their journey. And I don't remember how, but I came to a conclusion. When you don't accept where you are at with your horse, that puts pressure on your relationship. Because if things don't go perfect when you step into the pasture, you're going to be unsatisfied. Because you'll wish you had it all yesterday. It's basically an endless cycle of dissatisfaction and direct-lineness. I've been there, done that, and am praying that I've got out of that house, locked the door and threw away the key. It's not a fun place to be. But heck, it took me a year and a half to realize this (though a friend or two knew all along).
I follow Edie Brogan's blog (an incredible read, just packed to the brim with information, I recommend it to anyone on a rainy day, but start with the oldest post first), and in one post she quoted an instructor and stated it perfectly: "He also talked a little more about how our horsemanship is a never-ending journey - and that if we’re not happy with NOW, we’ll never be happy, because it will never be 'perfect enough'."
I'll leave you with that statement in closing.
--Erica
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